


Love: Terms and Conditions May Apply

by Teddy_Feathers



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Aromantic, Asexual Relationship, Gen, Interconected drabbles of various story plots im working on, Mary Sue, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Retail, Reverse Harem, Soulmates, bittybones too, comments welcome, incomplete ideas, milage may vary with screen time, only in the way that its all the skeletons in a single house, questions might help idk, squish, trying to motivate myself to write
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 10:55:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 23,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18809647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teddy_Feathers/pseuds/Teddy_Feathers
Summary: Random incomplete ideas of various stories that i keep adding to. Uploaded all 24 chapters today (5/13) and will prob do another upload rush next weekend to clear out the rest of my drafts.Tags will be updated then but there is no scary or adult content in any of this right now.The first chapter is a general idea of what the story is supposed to be about.Each chapter is labeled with the story title.Currently about 10 different stories planed to be uploaded only 6 up right now.Comments welcome, Questions might encourage my brain to function.Just trying to encourage myself to write... and maybe quit my job.





	1. The List So Far

Platonically Yours: A Non Binary retail worker called Cadbury  makes friends - of a sort - with the household of skeletons. Mostly fells just Being outraged so far that Cadbury is a walking confectionery.  
  
Mary Sue Ellen and the Laws of Attraction: Mary leaned into the Mary Sue thing, gets a place on FellSwap Napstabot's show, and finds out shes soulmates with Black (FellSwap Sans)

Mage School: A Swapfell PTA Sans Story - yeah idk world building about magic and integration and souls and "why the fuck do you think karen" Shipping is prob the point of the story but i don't have a plot yet.

Accentuate the Positive: A fallout/Fell crossover. Fell monsters surfaced and then fallout and the vaults happened. I have exactly ONE major plot point of this story that I'm not mentioning because while it feels obvious its a decent sized spoiler I GUESS. No shipping just found family with a 16 year old girl and Sans being the older brother and questing to join back up with Papyrus and Co after the vaults opened.

Like Nobody's Watching: A dancetale post pacifist fic. I've some headcannons about how dancetale magic works but aside from that this story is mostly about my own insecurities about realizing I'm a transdude. Well my insecurities in how they relate to how people perceive you, how you perceive yourself, and how you cant let it stop you from doing something you want to do. I've taken exactly ONE dance lesson and that was the first chapter there in a nutshell. There is also shipping and I've got a sad moment planned centered around the idea that Sans only has one dance left in him - heavily implied that's why he has one hp and why he doesn't dance, because it'll be his death dance and he'll die.

Therapist!Edge: Based off the prompt and exactly what it says on the tin. I did have a therapist for a while so I use that but most of this is just conversations that I needed to happen. Ive actually got four more prompts about this so I'll prob scribble up something more on this one sooner than I think.

These I haven't uploaded yet but should soon as they're just sitting in my drafts with the rest.  
  
Itty Bitty Troubles: D'Artagnan's method of earning a paycheck is being beat up on a regular basis by tiny skeletons. shenanigans ensue. I drew a comic based off this concept but I'm way better with words than doodling and I'm not too great at the word thing so I guess that says something. I just have a lot of headcannons and ideas I need to put somewhere and I've always been told i'm 'good with kids' when honestly I just let them beat me up and thought itd be funny if this guy just works at a bitty center under the same principles.  
  
A Doll's Gents: Indulgence - Get it? In which I butcher mafia concepts because I'm too lazy to look up stuff. A molly (mob lady/ whore?) helps the SwapMafia look good to humans by draping herself seductively on people and whispering behavioral tips and expectations in their ears or something idk. I wanted something smut flavored without having to write smut so like. Monster sex doesn't work that way and they have no use for her in that regard so she makes herself useful in other ways.  
  
Stardew Ya Do?: Stardew/ undertale crossover I'm in over my head with  
  
Adventures, Soulmates, and Other Lies Our Good Neighbors Sold Us: I wanted to write a Fae story but also didn't want to get away from undertale just yet so this one is pretty out there in that its about fae but there are skeletons and gaster too - in that there are traditional fae but also the monsters of undertale qualify and follow similar rules.


	2. Platonically Yours: Retail Work and a Meeting

There's some argument going on, and normally they'd stay out of it - they had to, legally thank the powers that be - but its some angry customer yelling at Debrah and the older lady is new, doesn't know what she's doing and... _apparently_ Cadbury's a masochistic.  
  
"Sir, what seems to be the problem?"  
  
Empty angry sockets turn to them but despite shaking _inside,_ there's just their anxious, ready and willing to assist smile plastered on their face for him to stare down. "Your employee has lead me on a wild goose chase and I have places to be-"  
  
They interject before he can continue, words moving fast and automatically like Cadbury had everything under control when they were pretty sure they were just throwing themself on the horns to spare Debrah. "I am _so_ sorry to hear that, Ms Debrah here is new and still in training but I'd  be more than happy to help you find what you're looking for so you can get to your, uh, engagement."  
  
Internally panicking over the fact no one said ' _engagement'_ but still running on customer service mode and unable to stop to freak out properly, they turn to Debrah "If you could, would you mind going and checking on the status of the load pretty please? Eric should be have something for you to bring out by now."  
  
Debrah nodded and flees and they turn back to the customer, words still tumbling out rapid fire. "So what is it that you were looking for sir?"  
  
His eyes narrow but he bites out "yeast" tersely.  
  
Cadbury nods and immediately starts power walking to the right section, his heeled boots clicking along behind them impatiently. "Oh that is a toughie, no wonder she couldn't help you find it! The store app doesn't tell you anything but the general area and..."  
  
Their eyes trial between the jug of eggs and the other jug of egg whites, finding the tiny empty section of the cold shelf and then walks past it to the bump out cooler that held the mark downs. "It belongs in a really weird section but as soon as it comes in they always mark it down and put it here to sell it."  
  
It takes a few second to find the box containing the packets and pull one out for him. "Here it is, is there anything else I can find you sir?"  
  
There are lights in the sockets now, purple... orbs? and the skeleton looks between the packet and their face before he takes it from them. "Food Coloring."  
  
He sounds less like he wants to bite their head off, but still was obviously pissed about his interaction with Debrah.

Cadbury just wanted him out of the store before he realized they were not a manager.  
  
"Oh! They're hiding it from you." They say cheerfully and take off for the other side of the store from the department they actually worked in.  
  
He kept pace despite his lack of height thankfully, actually in a hurry, but rules said they had to talk to him as they went so a little breathlessly Cadbury goes through one  of their practiced speeches. "You would think it was with the birthday candles and the baking supplies but I've actually only seen it over here by the cleaning supplies on a vender strip."  
  
He doesn't say anything to that, but then what _could_ he say? Still they had to keep talking talking - oh -  
  
"So, having a party?" They ask still several isles away.  
  
"Yes, and before you ask _no,_ you may _not_ attend." They look at him, confused, before they realize that _is_ something some people here joke about 'oh that looks good, having a bbq? mind if i come? hahaha'  
  
"Of course not sir, I'd never presume - I was just curious of what you were baking."  
  
He nods, and maybe some of the tension left him, though power walking made it hard to tell. "A four tier cake for my brother's birthday. Each section has to be a separate color."  
  
"Oh that's so sweet of you! Are you the older brother then? What's he turning?" This was much easier than rambling useless facts about the store. people, they'd learned, would much rather talk about themselves than listen, suspecting them of trying to promote things for the store.  
  
The light orbs - you know what _eyes_. _That's_ what they were calling them. - looked to them and there was a tiny smug little pull to his teeth. Well. They were _calling_ them teeth but the smirk suggested they moved in very unteethlike ways.  
  
"Thirty five."  
  
It takes them a moment to process that and Cadbury has to stifle a squeal, though there is something of it still in their voice. "Oh that is so sweet- super sweet that _really_ is so cool of you sir. "  
  
He looks surprised at their reaction and they try to tone down the gushing as they turn down the right isle. "Here's the food dye, is there anything else I can do to make your day better?"  
  
He grabs a few boxes off the strip and shakes his head. "No, you have adequately made up for Debrah's waste of my time."  
  
There's a part of them that bristles on behalf of their coworker but they cant let it show - still, at least it seems they're done with him. "I'm glad to hear it, please don't hesitate to ask if you -"  
  
He cuts them off. "But I do have a question. Why does your badge say _Cadbury_?"  
  
They falter and look down at it. "Oh its a nickname my coworkers gave me."  
  
  
"And your real name?"  
  
"Oh um, if you refer to me by Cadbury everyone here will know who you mean."  
  
He shakes his head. "I was asking for your real name."  
  
The customer service expression fades and usually they would cave and just tell him so he'd  leave but something in them got to their mouth first and said almost defensively "Its real _enough_ , I answer to it."  
  
He makes an expression that pisses them off, dismissal maybe? _Something_ condescending and says "It is ridiculous to prefer the name of a confectionery over the name you were given - "  
  
Cadbury interrupts. "Well I'm so sorry you feel that way, and I hope you have a lovely day and a very happy birthday to your brother." 

And then they left.

The back was close to where they were and they duck through the doors and then through the hall until the reach the east loading dock. Eric and Debrah were gone - putting things out on the floor and probably on break respectively, given the time, but they use the empty space to pace around in, breathing too fast but not from all the walking.  
  
They were just so _mad_ \- and being mad made them scared and that made them frustrated and -  
  
"Cadbury to the fitting room for customer assistance, Cadbury to the fitting room for customer assistance."  
  
They made a rude gesture at the speaker for the intercom and then took a few deep breaths and headed that way, smiling. Some days they really hated their job. 


	3. Platonically Yours: Meeting Edge

Its their day off. They don't want to go to work... but... they can't live without toilet paper. If it had just been food they would have just gone hungry but fate hates them.   
  
In retaliation they put on their pastel rainbow lounge wear and make their white hair poof up as far as it'll go.   
  
"Cadbury you look like something the Easter Bunny shit out." Laughs one coworker.  
  
"Oh good, Im keeping in theme then."   
  
"Really?" Asks another.   
  
"Nope, im a figment of your imagination."  
  
"Yo snowflake, forget your avocado toast?" Mocks a third.   
  
They ignore that particular coworker, growling quietly to themself " _Asshole_."   
  
They wouldn't let it get to them though, leaving the house had actually done wonders for their mood, and Cadbury got everything on their list and then some.   
  
Of course since they were here they had to check over their department and make sure things were running smoothly.

Manager Cathy was happy to see their fun outfit, Eric needed a second opinion on merchandising, and... Debrah was being bitched at by another customer.  
  
... Of course.   
  
"Sir, I'm so sorry, Ms. Debrah here is new but maybe I could help you instead?"   
  
This was a another skeleton, taller than the last but just as unhappy. "As I was saying to her,-


	4. Platonically Yours: Movie Night

"Why are you dressed like a _child_?" Sneered Edge at their unicorn onesie.   
  
"I dunno edge why're you _acting_ like one? I mean I can change out of rainbow pastels anytime i want to but you're kinda stuck with that personality."   
  
Stretch takes a picture distracting them both from their murder stare down. "Hey!" Cadbury protests, but Stretch only turns the phone and shows the picture to them.   
  
"70s. 80s." He says pointing first at picture Cadbury and then to picture Edge.   
  
Despite themselves they laugh and roll their eyes. "Alright that was pretty good. Could also go goth and...whats the opposite of goth? Bubble gum pop?"   
  
Edge sighs and rubs his thumb between his eyes. "Stars, you've made us a walking _meme_. I demand you go change."   
  
Cadbury made a rude gesture. "You first, mister 'I only wear one outfit'."   
  
"What'd I miss?" Red asks as he and Blue come in with several large containers of popcorn.   
  
"Two-nill, Cadbury." Stretch replies.   
  
"Nice."  
  
Blue sets down his armload and then places his hands on his hips."Cadbury, what did I say about arguing fashion with Edge?"   
  
Cadbury flushes. "No point in arguing when neither of us have taste?"   
  
"Damn!" Red says to Stretch, setting down all but one of the containers.  
  
Stretch snorts at Red's reaction and Blue just squints at their peanut gallery. "I'm sure I put it nicer than that."  
  
  



	5. Platonically Yours: Late Night Talk with Edge

Edge sighs when he finds Cadbury awake in the kitchen when he comes down for his ~~late night~~ early morning run. "Human what are you doing now?"   
  
"... green ones taste better." They reply, sounding almost nonsensical - more so than usual seeing as they obviously haven't slept.

Tink. Tink. Tink.

They're sorting one of the cereals - AppleJacks he thinks. Red had been most put out when he realized it had nothing to do with hard cider - by color into two separate bowls.    
  
He almost pitys them. "You poor deluded fool, they are exactly the same except for the-"  
  
Edge cuts off as the human gives him a hard stare, firmly repeating "The Green Ones. Taste Better." before returning to their fruitless labor.


	6. Mary Sue Ellen and the Laws of Attracion: Law of Three

Things - good and bad - tended to come it threes.  
  
Mary tried not to be superstitious but that's kinda just how it was.  
  
Winning a fan-drawing to audition for Mettaton's new show counted as one.  
  
And wasn't _that_ a doozy?  
  
Talent and fangirls alike were always trying to get close to the star because success seemed to rub off on whoever Mettaton was close to.  
  
And here was _Mary Sue Ellen_ guaranteed at least a passing chance to catch his eye.

"My name is Mary Sue Ellen, and good things are coming to me." This was said so firmly by the woman in front of her, that it really should be hard to doubt her.   
  
She even looked the part - short curly pink hair, oversized white coat over a _just_ decently length skirt, dark skin that sparkled faintly wherever the light touched it.   
  
Really _everything_ from her name, to her appearance, to the surety in her tone said that not only would the world be handed to her on a silver platter, but the world would apologize and replace the platter with one of _gold_ to boot.   
  
The only thing marring the otherwise perfect image was the doubt in her eyes.   
  
But that was what contacts were for.   
  
Popping in a blue colored lens in one eye and a purple in the other, Mary was ready to go back out there.   
  
'Out there' being the live studio audience auditions for Mettaton's new reality show: Rectangle of Love.   
  
It was somewhat like the bachelorette only... Nothing like that at all.   
  
Mettaton had, surprisingly gently, taken aside all the contestants and confided that he knew his soulmate was not among them.   
  
The real purpose of the show was to find his very own Vanna White to co-host and appeal to the human fans.   
  
This had so far led to four one hour mock segments of his currently airing and yet to be announced shows and specials to whittle down the some 100 people into the 20 that would be chosen for the actual recording.

  
  
Later:  
  
Things - good or bad - came in threes.

It was just her luck.  
  
Getting into the auditions was one... But now Mary wasn't so sure it was a good thing.  
  
"You see lovely, you're not the sort of person I'm looking for. You have no real experience or training in Dance, theater, or any other entertainment skills - No offense meant of course! I have no doubt you could learn and carry it all off with style and pinaze given time and the dedication you've proven over the last few days that you're ready and able to show but..."

The star in his sexy calculator visage hesitates and various lights on his front change as he considers his next words.  
  
Almost gently he says, "I need a partner currently, not a protege. Understand darling?"  
  
I- of course Mister Mettaton, Sir, I was honored just to be able to - to be here and see" Mary stops herself before she can say 'see the magic happen' lest he think she meant the literal magic at the disposal of monsters. "see everything develop. I'm a huge fan of course and its something special to get to _see_ and even _participate_ in the behind the scenes action that makes. Well makes dreams reality on stage if you'll forgive how corny that sounds."  
  
He didn't seem impatient while she rambled but she was still nervous at how he scrutinized her, his expression inscrutable despite the hours of his work she'd consumed. Having seen just how much emotion he could throw onto his face when he so desired this had to be a conscious effort on his part... And it made her nervous.  
  
"Not corny at all lovley." He murmured, voice low.  
  
"If... If you don't mind me asking... Why pull me aside this way if you were just letting me go? I mean. I know I won a sweepstakes to get in but it was very clear that there was no guarantee of winning a spot on the show -"  
  
He waves dismissively. "- no no nothing like that, i just wanted to size you up a bit more up close and personal before offering you a different sort of opportunity altogether."  
  
  
"Uh Mettaton i don't really follow, you just said - and I agree - they I don't suit your needs. You need a strong core of bachelors and bachelorettes so you have the best demographic to see what your on camera chemistry is right?"  
  
"Very astute! However, I am not the only one in need of - shall we say - the human touch on their show."  
  
"... There are other monster stars?"  
  
"Not yet darling but soon enough there will be - and unless I suddenly lost my eye for talent I think you will be perfect for his show."  
  
"...We just agreed I don't have any talent?"  
  
"Pish posh just because you are not the sort of talent _i_ am currently seeing doesn't mean you have _none_. And your particular ones could play well off of his... Well. We'll see how it works out shall we?"  
  
"So... Is your mystery star also holding auditions?"  
  
"No, he prefers working interviews - which is possibly why his show is currently only available to a select viewership but I assure you that once the kinks are worked out his star's shine will rival my own."  



	7. Mary Sue Ellen and the Laws of Attraction: Working Interview

Napstabot had looked unimpressed when Mettaton himself had escorted her over to this, smaller, studio. "Hmmmm. You wont last long." He'd said dissmissively.

Obviously that meant Challenge Accepted as far as Mary was concerned.

 

There was no rhyme or reason to the episodes, not really that she could tell watching bits and pieces before her turn on the stage. There were numerous humans in this waiting room with her preparing in their own way. The whole show seemed to lack continuity.

After a bit:

"Special Human guest Mary-Sue Ellen!" Goes the Announcement and she steps out into the filming room.

No fake applause, no live audience either - but eerily realistic sounds of just audible confusion.

Who is this, why should the camera care?

Meanwhile Napstabot - just a torso with a head and numerous floating hands - just passively stared at her until her expression falters just a bit, and then... A single hand cranks the dial on the control panel in front of him in his dj box, set high in a corner of the room.

The background music gets louder.

Another hand, another dial, and the floor splits to a... Treadmill?

Well it was rolling like one.

And then... The music picked up.

Her walking speed increased, and the beat started creating obstacles. Another instrument started and lazers targeted her doping goo where she'd been.

There _is_ a pattern to this song shes never heard - and while it had started easy enough to compare certain sounds with obstacles... The tempo increases and the correlation becomes fast and loose with what she's facing.

After about two minuets of just focusing on it something in her mind clicks into place and shes dodging sounds not obstacles like she knows they're coming.

There's a scoff from above her and everything flips - the song seems to switch midnote and the floor's momentum changes...

Of _course_ she gets slimed - unlike the stuff she'd avoided in Mettaton's trials - this was thick cloying and before she knows it, she's under the floorboards.

Now upside down she sees more of those hands moving to add and remove obstacles and clean the spilled goo ahead of her.

She's sprayed with the floor cleaner and barely manages to avoid falling into the net waiting to catch her below by hanging to a vault bar.

Mary has to tuck her legs up making her abdomen ache but she makes it back on top of the floor.

A blonde man is attempting the course - but startles at the sight of her causing him to slip and fall and be eaten by the floor as she had been.

Freeing herself from the vault Mary scrambles to her feet to continue then obstacle, barely pausing when two floating hands carrying the man from before by her in a net to hang above a tank she hadn't noticed before- all the other contestants were inside.


	8. Mary Sue Ellen and the Laws of Attraction: Trainning with a True Fan

It had been a rotten horrible no good day - that's how the story went right?   
  
And all of it could be laid as blame in front of the heeled boots of Black.   
  
Speak of the devil - he clicks into the room but Mary knew, she _knew_ \- that Black could walk silently in them when he chose.   
  
"Stop being dramatic and get off the floor - and wash your hands I made food and i expect you to eat it."  
  
She just groans. There was probably a Rube Goldberg machine from _hell_ laid out over the kitchen. She'll just lay here and rot thanks.   
  
"No tricks - just a homemade burrito that will exceed anything your human taste buds have experienced thus far."   
  
Tempting, but it was probably a trap - no need for that because this mouse was already dead.   
  
Far far more gently than she had ever heard from him Black actually crouches down, resting his... Arm bones on his leg bones. "Look... Mary, it has been a shit day - I know, I _ensured_ it. So come have some lunch. You've earned it."   
  
Mary raises her head off the floor to look him in the face instead of the boots. His expression was as kind as his tone and she found herself sitting up just so she could scramble back from him. "Who are you and what have you done with Black?"   
  
"... _Really_?" At any other time his theatrical offense would be__________  
  
But right now she was too busy freaking out about his complete 180 change in demeanor  
  
"Yeah really! Go back to being an asshole - you're creeping me the fuck out!"  
  
"You're being ridiculous Mary-"  
  
"-That! That right there! What happened to 'human'?"   
  
He rolls his lights, and apparently having reached the limits of his patience he grabs her by the arm and with surprising strength forcibly manhandles her into the kitchen.

A bit later:  
  
"Omg this is the best thing I've ever put in my mouth I don't care if its probably poisoned or something i am going to die a happy girl."  
  
Red comes into the kitchen like he timed it. "Ya sure about that sweetheart cause I got something that I bet will taste even better."  
  
Before Black can turn around Mary sticks her tongue out at him flashing half chewed food and he chuckles, moving to load up his plate.  
  
Having missed the by play, Black frowns dubiously at Red. "Do you really think you're up to the challenge of a cooking contest with me?"   
  
Red's eye lights flare brighter and Mary swallows hard knowing exactly what sort of comment coming.  
  
He opens his mouth but Edge who had walked in silently despite the thick heavy souls of his boots shoves him aside to get his own food. "I don't want your vulgarity ruining another meal."   
  
"Yeah, yeah. Sure thing boss." Red grumbles looking put out.

Black's face flushes a little as he figures out exactly what Red didn't say and glares at Red who now ignores him. taking his plate and sitting across from her.   
  
"Was jus' sayin' that if you're hungry two 'dogs are better than one."   
  
The eye contact was what got her - Mary flushes hard but glares at him and subtly flicks him off while scratching the side of her nose with a middle finger as the rest of the skeleton household slowly filed in.   
  
"Red! Vulgarity Jar - Mary don't think I didn't see that, swear jar!"   
  
Despite knowing its futile to argue with Blue at this point, she still protests "Hey I didn't _say_ anything!"


	9. Mary Sue Ellen and the Laws of Attraction: Getting to Know Her

"Mary Sue? Really?" Papyrus sounds incredulous, with good reason.

"Mmmhmmm." She agrees, mischief dancing in her dark eyes.  
  
"So you died your hair pink..." He continues.  
  
"Technically magenta."   
  
"And wear glitter..." It looks like its physically paining him to draw the comparisons between her and an anime character.   
  
"Its called unicorn snot and I am delighted."   
  
"And you dress like a thrift store threw up on you why?" Edge adds because if anyone had room to talk about fashion it wasn't him.  
  
"There's no accounting for taste"  
  
"Or lack of taste! You'd look so good if you'd-" Edge protests.  
  
"If I put myself in clothes and social positions that made me uncomfortable? No. I'd look socially palatable but have the confidence of a border collie which regardless of how I looked would make me behave as though I'm ashamed of myself." 

"If they don't appreciate your sweats they don't deserve your suits." Red pipes up from where he was playing his swoosh game device.  
  
"Here here!" Mary cheers and pumps her fist.  
  
"So this isn't embarrassing for you?" Black asks.  
  
"Well I guess it can be on bad days but. It all makes me happy and as long as I'm happy fuck em if they don't like it - if they don't like me confident I'm hardly going to let them cow me."  
  
"Moo cow?" Stretch asks, bone scrunching above the nose hole in a way that shouldn't be possible with his confusion.   
  
"Uh... Bully me into being someone I'm not."  
  
"A Mary Sue." Papyrus still had that pained look on his face.  
  
Mary rolls her eyes. "Lean into the ridiculous then no one else can use it against you."  
  
"You know... Social interactions don't have to be a battle." This from Sans.  
  
"Maybe not _for you guys_ but when they are I plan on winning."  
  
"Oh? So you had a strategy prepared for meeting a diverse group of skeleton monsters?" Black challenges.  
  
"I have several strategies prepared for social interaction - how I implement them in unexpected circumstances has to do more with tactics."  
  
"And do you feel as though you're winning something here?"   
  
"I dunno you tell me."

There's a quite moment where they just stare each other down across the dining table.  
  
Blue breaks the tension by kindly telling Mary. "Well i think you're fun and not at all cringy."  
  
"Thank you, can definitely use the vote of confidence."  
  
"Oh so you're running for office now." What is Blacks problem?  
  
"Yeah mayor of your heart." She replies sarcastically. 


	10. Mary Sue Ellen and the Laws of Atraction: A Conversation After Move in

"You certainly have made yourself at home."  
  
Mary jumps, but doesn't look over to Edge as he clicks his way into the kitchen.  
  
Delicate steps, precise, unlike the heavier more demanding of notice all but stomps of Black. They all communicated with more than just words.  
  
She pushes her curly thick hair back over her shoulder, and pours the box of noodles into the water. This was going to take forever to boil.   
  
" _Well_?" Comes the offend question from her right, as the silence stretches on.   
  
She sets the box down,sliding along the counter with her hip until there was distance - the stove between them. Crossing her arms she shrugs.   
  
"Well what? It's not like it's going to help to tip toe around everything - it'll make me more of a burden rather than less."   
  
"That's not your food, or your kitchen to make a mess of - and that's not hardly enough for everyone." Edge challenges.   
  
Her chin tilts up, her eyes - matching purple contacts today - locked on the left joint of his jaw instead of his eyes.   
  
"I was told multiple times to make myself at home, and... Not a lot of people are usually up this time of night. Or not home at least. Would _you_ like some?"   
  
"Food? No. Gratefulness and respect? Yes."  
  
"I'm _beyond_ grateful Edge! I'm _indebted_. Beyond even cost and social expectations - there is absolutely no way I could possibly repay any of you."   
  
The stove hisses between them and Mary dives for the wooden spoon hissing out a curse as she stirs the pot and lowers the temperature.   
  
"I'll clean that up." She says to his watchful, judgemental silence.

Taking a breath as everything is under control, she lets her shoulders sag and continues stiring, though technically everything is under control.   
  
" _Just_ like ill try and minimize my impact, clean up after myself, and chip in and help where I can... Beyond that..." She shrugs and kills the heat, picking up the still boiling pot.  
  
"I cant just -"   
  
She gets distracted pouring the water into the waiting colander but Edge speaks up.  
  
"Cower and hide and snivel and fawn?"   
  
"Wouldn't have put it that way but that's the feel of it."  
  
Setting the pot aside, she picks up the colander, shakes it and dumps it back into the pot.   
  
Edge doesn't comment as she dumps in the powder, scoops out the butter and pours in an eyeballed amount of milk.   
  
Then it all goes back onto the stove and a can of cream of mushroom soup is shulpped into the pot as well.   
  
"That's disgusting." For someone without lips you could sure hear the lip curl.  
  
"Most comfort food is." Mary agreed stiring over low heat.  
  
Red comes in. "Something smells good - what is it?"  
  
Mary flashes him a bright and wild smile. "Its _gross_ , want some?"   
  
"Hell yeah - boss you gettin' in on this?"   
  
"N-" Edge pauses and narrows his sockets. "Human. It is customary to consume that gross slop when you are in need of comfort?"  
  
She pauses in dishing out a bowl. "Well i mean. Its just comfort food, supposed to be good for the soul and all that. I didn't mean-"  
  
"Yes yes slop you imbibe when in need of comfort - and as you are making it, ans sharing it you are in need of _social_ comforts instead of time alone - don't bothering telling me I am correct, I have thoroughly solved this puzzle, I shall eat your food you shall tell me your conundrum and I shall masterfully apply comfort."   
  
Red snorts. "Heh japed again by the great Papyrus."  
  
Edge "Indeed."  
  
He takes a bite of the mushroom mac and immediately grimaces. Mary's tastes just the way it should and Red's bowl has somehow been emptied in the time she hadn't been watching him. She must've failed to hide her grin because Edge narrows his sockets and points his fork at her.   
  
"Next time you are in need of comfort food you will tell me immediately and i will prepare... Oatmeal."   
  
"Oatmeal?" Mary questions.   
  
He nods.   
  
She shrugs. "wouldn't want to bother yo-"   
  
"Did I not say I desire you to be grateful and respectful?"    
  
Its a challenge but one Mary is at a loss to respond to - Red's no help hes back at the pot, eating directly out of it.   
  
"... I uh thank you?"   
  
He stares at her for a long moment, before nodding and looking back down at his own bowl releasing a long suffering sigh. Visibly bracing himself he goes to take another bite and her hand reaches out.   
  
"Edge you know you don't actually have to eat that if you don't like it right? Its just a metaphor."   
  
He looks back up - well down really - at her, all offended pride and squared shoulders and she immediately retracts her hand. "If I did not like it I would not eat it."   
  
His tone is cutting... But then he heaves another long suffering sigh. "But is it... Too much to ask that we have _one_ meal that can remotely described as healthy?"   
  
Before she can respond he shakes his head. "Never mind that, human do not think I shall be fooled or distracted by your clever redirection. If it doesn't work for my brother, it will hardly work for you."   
  
Mary's eyes go back to the stove but her pot and the skeleton in question are both gone. 


	11. Mary Sue Ellen and the Laws of Attraction: the heart of the matter

Four sets of eyes watch as Mary literally pushed herself up and crawled up over the back of the bed as if repelled, magnet-like, as Black leaned forward.   
  
"I don't know what he's doing to me but make him _stop_!" There's still some hysteria there, which is what had called the others in. 

  
"Uh while this is a neat trick hes not actually doing any magic?" Blue says, scratching his head in confusion. "I know he can be a jerk but so can Edge and you've never reacted this way to him?"

  
"Well she does get darker in the face around him once in a while when they're bickering." Stretch offers.  
  
"She doesn't do that around red or squire though?" Blue questions.  
  
"Well no she wouldn't their bottoms."   
  
"Power bottom here -" Red protests, not taking his eyes off of the weird mime show happening on the bed as Black moves closer and farther testing her reactions.   
  
Mary's flush gets worse and she half growls half whines "Stop. Just stop talking right this instant or i will end you."  
  
At this Red smiles, all points stretched wide and he teases "How are you going to do that from way over there?"  
  
Stretch laughs. "Yeah pretty hard to end us when you're running away from Black."  
  
"No - no I'm not running from Black I'm-"  
  
Black quietly interrupts whatever bullshit excuse she was going to come up with. "-Looks that way to me."  
  
"I'm not scared of you!" She yells back at him.  
  
He makes an impatient noise. "No you're obviously scared of your attraction to me."  
  
Three   
Two  
One  
Shriek of rage  
  
She dives for him and its obvious he expects that, the catch almost made it seem practiced. Intentional. Romantic?   
  
Except she was trying to wrap his bandana around her fist and jerk him around by it and he was forcibly prying her off.   
  
_Obviously_ she was out matched, but she was vicious and clever and surprisingly a wiggly handful.

That being said it should not have taken the _royal guardsmen_ as long as it did to get her into a hold, his arms interwoven with hers to keep them up and behind her head, his legs keeping hers pinned beneath.   
  
She felt and looked like a criminal that had been resisting arrest and Mary supposed she should be grateful that he didn't have her face smashed into the carpet with a knee in her back.   
  
Four sets of eyes stared at her and she felt herself flushed. Humiliated on some level.   
  
"If yall are done with the foreplay for now-" Red begins, breaking the silence.   
  
She jerks realizing that she _hadn_ 't been humiliated before just embarrassed. Angry tears pressed up against the back of her eyes. Not enough to show just enough for the pressure to make her already flushed face burn hotter.   
  
"Let me go."  
  
There must've been something in her tone, different than the previous struggle because Black let her go, in one smooth movement backing onto his feet gracefully like a stunt done in reverse.   
  
Mary crosses her arms and hunches her shoulders. "What the absolute fuck do you guys want?"   
  
The defensive no nonsense tone does not impress any of them.

They all could take her down and she hated how weak and childish that made her feel. Indignant over their being in her room didn't really have the same feeling of righteousness when they were the ones providing the room.   
  
"We're soul mates. That's what you were feeling."   
  
She looks up at Black, and sees hes no longer smiling that smug almost playfully so challenging grin. Its back to serious business... The expression and tone and look he gave her like playtime was over - on top of the utter bullshit he'd just spewed -   
  
Inside herself Mary crumples up every good feeling she had about him and threw it into his face with the words "I _hate_ you." It bounces off harmlessly and he stares at her impassive like she was a child throwing a tantrum so she turned and stormed out of the room.  
  
A hand grabbed her arm to stop her, words half formed but entirely unheard as she felt her being _flinch_ at the unexpected and unwanted touch, other arm snapping out to smack the joint of the elbow, loosening whoever's hold and allowing her to pull away, hair in face as she power walked away .  
  
It _wasn't_ running since no one else tried to stop her. 

Mary didn't know where she would end up, she just wanted to be away.

Left alone.

And not alone as in eggshells walked upon until someone thought she was safe or ready to approach just...  
  
 _Alone_.   
  
Until Mary didn't feel like static cactus pricks were bubbling up all over her body like an invisible but painfully present aura.   
  
Pajamas or no, she slipped her bare feet into her tennis shoes and locked the door behind her, pace getting faster as she hit the cool night air.

The pavement still radiated heat. It should have been a nice walk but her pace kept increasing every time her mind tried to settle, the painful static of awareness she kept wanting to escape waiting for her each time she calmed.   
  
She shouldn't be out walking alone at night. And people would be worried since Mary was gone, might come after her if she got to far. So around and around the block she goes, growing tired fast but almost too desperate to stop admit defeat and face the eyes waiting for her.

Watching _in_ her.   
  
She hated it. It felt like everything was ruined and tainted.   
  
They had been her friends. Mary hadnt even thought to consider - it'd been _safe_. Teasing flirting joking. Nothing had _mattered_ because none of it _counted_. But now there were _cloying_ feelings, and _judgements_ and _betrayals_ and invisible lines pulled sharply taunt into view - It wouldn't be ignorible but painfully cutting through a silent conversation, underneath every calm and relaxed one  
  
 _Everything_ meant something _different_ now and it was like their friendship had been taken away.   
  
It had in a way.   
  
Presumptuous to assume they had ever been friends when all they wanted from her was... _This_.   
  
Everything boiled down and belittled and left sullied in her heart, making Mary feel used and lost and alone.   
  
Nothing could every be the same. Nothing could be harmless now. She mourned their time spent.   
  
It felt. Lesser this way.  
  
Like she was a consolation prize.   
  
But. Wasn't how people always felt about it? Friendship was just a consolation prize for people she didn't want to sleep with?   
  
Why did it always feel like the world was backwards? Friendship should grow to more but it never did for her but somehow it was her fault she inspired these feelings in others.   
  
'Take responsibility' they always said like some anime, but she didn't _ask_ for this. Didn't _want_ this.  
  
It wasn't fair.   
  
Did _she_ like him? Did it matter?   
  
Every thing would be colored now by the knowledge _he_ liked _her_.  
  
... Mary knew her thoughts on the matter were hardly normal.   
  
One did not liken love or affection to a sickness someone had been infected with.   
  
People see it as a natural development of enjoying someones company.

A compliment.   
  
She did not.   
  
It felt like an insult.

Liking her this way when she had done nothing different and yet everything changed around her.   
  
The smart thing to do would be to. Move back out.   
  
Maybe that wasn't the smart thing.

Maybe that was the desire to run a way and not face the dissolution of relationships she'd been building.   
  
"Yanno... Most people would be happy about finding out they've got a soul mate and knew them. Mean monsters or human - everyone wants to be special to some one right?" Mary isn't surprised when she passes Squire, suddenly sitting at the bus stop as she passes. 

Part of her is surprised that she got _this_ much time alone.  
  
"Yeah lucky me. So fucking special."  
  
"I don't understand? Ya like my brother? He's kinda your favorite -"   
  
"That's not true!" She protests, stomping one foot. Everyone always assumed things like that! "He's just nice. And fun. And easy." She grumbles crossing her arms.   
  
Squire snorts. "Creampuff is nice. Blue is fun. Blacks contrary as a cat, crafty as a fox, and half the time more feral than both."  
  
 "Well yeah but..." Mary couldn't exactly argue that... but she wanted to.  
  
"Butt?"  
  
She laughs despite herself. "Don't think i cant hear you adding that extra T."   
  
He smiles back but firmly says, "You're stalling."   
  
Her expression falters and she looks away again. "Used to let me stall."  
  
"Hell your lucky its just me." Squire admits, fiddling with his lighter. "Every one of them is afraid you're gonna walk out if someone doesn't make you talk about it."

Mary sighs. She didn't want to talk about it... But it would probably help. And Squire was right - only _one_ of them prying was as nice as they were probably going to be about the whole thing.  
  
"He's infuriating sometimes but not. In a bad way." The words come haltingly at first. "Yeah he's stubborn and challenging and pushing and all holier than thou but. He still respects other peoples opinions."   
  
Squire snorts. "He calls you an idiot to your face."   
  
 Mary's arms uncross just so she can throw her hands into the air. "I bait him and he lets me do it! He doesn't shut me down three words out the door telling you your opinion doesn't _matter_ or that he hardly sees why its _relevant_ when we're just _starting_ our arguments. We take the scenic route through a conversation and he knows exactly when I'm just playing devils advocate and when I'm arguing something I give a damn about and while he's smarter and stronger than me he indulges -" The sudden flow of words cuts off with a bitter laugh and she pushes her hair out of her face. "That sounds so bad like I'm a child but I'm _not_ and he doesn't treat me like one but he also doesn't treat me like an idiot no matter what he calls me!"   
  
"Hes infuriating because he has an ego and he'll challenge you or yank your chain or wont put up with anyone else's nonsense but his own - he'll put holes in your argument or things you care about if you cross him and hes good at making people feel three feet tall but we were _friends_ and being friends with him..."   
  
Mary trails off again feeling lost.   
  
"Makes you feel special cause it aint easy?" Squire offers.  
  
She shakes her head. "No. Its really easy. And fun and he didn't have to allow it. But he did and yeah I guess it made me feel special."  
  
"Past tense? You're obviously feeling upset about this whole thing. Impassioned in the wrong direction. So what gives about that? Whys being soulmates got you upset? Ya just went on a rant defending the brat, so m'guessing its not that you think he'll hurt you."  
  
Mary looks confused about that - it hadn't even occurred to her. "No - no even when we're play fighting I don't get bruised. He hasn't hurt me-"  
  
"-But you're hurt."   
  
Well yes obviously, but that was a tangled mess she didn't want to address. "Gah stop that" Mary protests.  
  
"Stop what?"  
  
"I don't want to talk about this!"  
  
Squire shakes his head. "Ya do or you wouldn't. M'not someone ya feel obligated to talk to. Its why you like me."   
  
Great. Now she had a new reason to feel guilty. "... I like you for a lot of reasons Squire."   
  
"As much as I'd like to hear em, think ya need to focus on one skeleton at a time. So why ya fixing to cry over this? Ya don't like me or someone else better than him do ya?"  
  
"I don't like anyone! I don't!" She protests vehemently.    
  
Softer she adds. "I just wanted friends."   
  
"Ya got them -"  
  
"-no its not the same. Now there's _feelings_ involved and you cant just. Pretend they aren't there or ignore them and you have to double check every instinct and behavior and comment and its this _huge_ thing." Mary rants. "And then there's _jealousy_ and wanting _more_ and its _stupid_ to see it this way i know-"  
  
She searches for words. "I know-" She struggles. "Because oh people like-like you for the same reasons they wanted to be your friend. But it doesn't feel like that. It feels like a cloying mess where i lost my friend because my not liking them back the same way makes my friendship - makes everything about me a consultation prize."   
  
Mary swallows hard. "And if I. If i just _went_ with it. Nothing would _change_. Everything exactly the same except _they want more_ and its so. _Possessive_ and. If i don't go with it but we stay friends its just. _Hurts_ them."  
  
She wipes away her tears. "I'm not _enough_ for them. I don't think i can _be_ enough for _anyone_."  
  
"Heh."  
  
Mary glares suspiciously at Squire. "What's so funny?"  
  
"And here we were thinking maybe you were upset because we're skeleton monsters or some religious crises to do with souls."   
  
She rolls her eyes. "I've got way more problems with my own body image than yours. Besides skeletons are cool. And monsters... Are made of mercy and compassion - even edgy assholes like you."   
  
He hums a bit and they think their thoughts. "So. Its a trust thing."  
  
"No i mean-"  
  
Squire cuts her off. "It is. Yeah think people'll hold things over you and make ya feel obligated to make decisions you're not ready to face. Making _their_ feelings _your_ problems."   
  
Mary hesitates and then says. "Its already my problem. I mean. If i act like x he'll think y or even if he knows better hell be hoping for y and even if everything stays the same how other people look at my behavior changes - Its selfish and I know that but. I cant be myself without consequences and it _scares_ me."  
  
Squire nods. "And neither can he - just by putting it out there hes _already_ facing the consequences."  
  
And thats where the guilt comes in. "I know."   
  
"Its not his fault he likes you."  
  
"Its not my fault either." She says petulently.   
  
Squire grins. "Well. Could make a case about you being a likeable person."  
  
"Fuck off!"  
  
"But I'll spare you the compliments."  
  
"... Fuck off." Mary repeats with less venom.  
  
"Heh. But youre right not your fault either."  
  
They wait in silence some more. "Ya don't want to lose him as a friend though?"  
  
"I already did." Mary says, heart heavy.   
  
"Maybe. Maybe hes just as worried about losing your friendship over feelings he cant control."  
  
"... I know..." That sucks too.  
  
It takes a few minutes but Mary finally asks, "Is. The soulmate thing. _Real_?"   
  
Squire hums. "Thinking you should deal with that later."   
  
"Yeah. I know. I'm trying to ignore it but. If i never like him back he'll just be -"   
  
"- its not like you're thinking it is. For the record."   
  
Mary considers that for a good long moment. "... I'm going to believe you because I don't think i can deal with anything else right now."  
  
"Good enough. Back into the house?"  
  
"They'll be waiting."  
  
Squire shrugs. "Don't have to face them until later if you don't want."  
  
"But I'll have to face them."  
  
"Yep."  
  


 


	12. Mary Sue Ellen and the Laws of Attraction: A Much Needed Conversation

Soulmates aren't like what she thinks.

Something to cling to because she refused the arm Squire had offered.    
  
Despite having declined his offer, Squire flanked her. Not hearding, not even stooping her from bolting, not even to protect her. Just a solid presence at her back shoring her up.  
  
At least Black had that.   
  
More than what edge hypocritically called her insufferable pride, she didn't deserve the support.  
  
Mary hadn't even looked _back_ when she had bolted.  
  
How many times had Black teased her about being cruel heartless and she'd teased right back never once suspecting... How true it must have felt.  
  
Her _friend_.  
  
Having vented, the intense swirl of her own mess had quieted enough to focus on her friend.   
  
Black had been the best friend she'd ever had easily. If she wasn't completely at ease with him at any point it had been because emotions had been high between them - the thrill of fun, the frustrating volcano of their tempers.   
  
_Never_ had she been afraid or worried or stressed.

Mary could tell him anything and she'd thought the same was true for him - the controlled man had slipped on more than one occasion and been surprised at how well she'd taken it. Even when he was actively trying to push her away, tied up in an emotion she didn't understand and deliberatly been vindictive or gruesome or even threatening she'd been there saying she got it as well as she could and she wasn't going to scare that easy.   
  
Man.

She'd... Never thought or categorized Black as just a man before. Not that she'd had trouble thinking of monsters as people just... _Red_ was a man as sexiest as that was, and enjoyed being  _that_ guy.  Black was just. Black.   
  
But he'd shown another side of himself - all he had to do to send her fleeing from the room, not facing the gauntlet, was to tell her that...   
  
... If it wasn't like she was thinking... He _hadn't_ said he liked her like that. Just that she was attracted to him.   
  
"You're thinking too hard again. Sure ya don't wanna just get it over with?"  
  
Blinking in confusion, Mary looked up and noticed they were back where they'd started. Without realizing it she'd circled the block again.   
  
Throwing her hands in the air she practically growls "This is _ridiculous_!" Which was as good as admitting _she_ was being ridiculous and the small amused look Squire gave her said he had caught the implication.   
  
"It is stupid to be _afraid_ of emotions - I'm not going to do it anymore. I'm going to go in there and..."  
  
Her rush of confidence flags again and Mary doesn't finish the sentence.  
  
"Could poof you in?"  Just going to bed and pretending this never happened....   
  
Wasn't an option.  
  
She shakes her head, squares her shoulders and heads to the house. She has no ides what shes going to do but she marches up to the house.   
  
One last time she hesitates, hand on the door handle. "Thank you Squire. You're a good friend and a better brother." Instead of looking back or waiting for an answer to that dramatic line - she wasn't going into war - she pushes in.   
  
No ones waiting up for her. Her shoes go back against the wall with the rest of the clutter.   
  
No extra lights on, no hovering skeletons - concerned or judgemental.   
  
As she passes by the still dark living room some fancy almost expects sans to turn one of the armchairs around like a parent catching a kid sneaking in but...   
  
That was what Mary had resolved. She _wasn't_ sneaking.   
  
Most of the lines under the bedroom doors were dark though she doubted they all were asleep - Edge in particular had a habit of putting something in front of the door so his comings and goings were harder to track.   
  
But one light faintly cut across the floor and mMary paused in front of it.

Black had too much pride to be waiting for her, but if she 'was allowed to know his whereabouts and had purpose enough to disturb him instead of waiting for when he deigned to recognize her'... She was permitted to knock.   
  
Mary looks back down the hall but its empty, Squire having ghosted at some point to do mysterious Squire things.  Probably to get another cigarette before bed.  
  
Its quiet inside and while she knows its the excellent sound proofing, she also knows Black is always aware of when someone is at his door. If that same sense doesn't tell him whose there then his clever deductive powers have.   
  
But he didn't call out or slam it open and demand she stop dithering.   
  
If he didn't want to see her he wouldn't be shy in sending her away. If he was ignoring her...   
  
The light would have been off and she probably just wouldn't have seen him until _he_ decided she could. Skeletons are scarily good at evasion.   
  
Mary knocks.

It sounds loud in the hall but with so little force it probably wouldn't have been heard if Black had been doing anything.   
  
"Enter."  
  
Slowly Mary opens the door.  
  
Blacks room was much as it ever was. Polished dark hard wood furniture, a small round back black leather couch with a cozy faux fur throw, everything tucked away in its place, a weight station and benchpress the only sign of personal interest - a perfect bachelor pad.   
  
Finally Marys darting eyes land on Black - he lay on his bed, one arm slung over his face and something in her unclenches.  
  
"Kind of you." She remarks.   
  
His mouth curves into a grin. "Loath though i am in most situations to give up an unfair advantage, I thought it wise to make this conversation easier on the both of us."  
  
... yeah she didn't even what to contemplate what her soul was saying about all of this.  
  
  



	13. Mary Sue Ellen and the Laws of Attraction: Getting Back to Normal - Or Not

They were sitting in the living room playing flirting chicken - Mostly because both Mary and Red thought it was funny and they had nothing else to do while they waited for the new game to load.

At some point Blue had joined them and well...  
  
"I don't get it what am i doing wrong?" Blue complained after Red whined after his last complement - well the patented Red version of whining - about him cheating.  
  
"Mary?" He asks, turning those big blue lights on her when neither blushing face answered him. "You don't blush this hard when Red flirts with you." He presses.  
  
"That's because he's not flirting with me!" She protests.

There's a moment of shared doubt.

"...Well I mean of course he's _flirting_ with me but he's not flirting with _me_." Mary emphasizes.  
  
Red grumbles. "Hey, I could be flirtin' with you, you jus' don't take it seriously."

Mary rolls her eyes. "And you don't mean it seriously."  
  
Red opens his mouth to protest but she cuts him off with a firm look. "Don't help red."

Blue looks utterly lost. "I don't get it."

"Okay here I'll show you." Mary leans foward to explain, things about acting like you mean something and actuallly meaning somethihng and the different feelings associated.

So Mary says to Red, lasciviously. "Hey red... How about I sit on your lap and we talk about the first thing that pops up?"  
  
Red slightly flushes and his voice comes out lower and more gravely than it usually does as he responds. "Damn sweetheart, do you come here often? Because if you keep talking like that you're going to."  
  
Mary far more flushed than that joke warrants because she can tell he means it. "Red! I said not to help."  
  
Red surprised and a lot more embarrassed then a second ago sits up from his lazy slouch like she caught him at something. "Wait you could feel that?"

Edge comes in from where ever and makes a dismissive noise. "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day brother."  
  
Both Blue and Red seem dubious but Mary ignores the by play and presses on.  
  
"Edge! Perfect timing, mind if I flirt at you?"  
  
Edge raises a socket and crosses his arms. "If the aim is to shut my shameless brother down I have no qualms."  
  
With mock severity Mary comes back with "Edge you really cant talk about shameless - I was _never_ going to mention it, but I _swear_ if your pants get any tighter I'm going to have to make you start wearing a coat or a blanket around your waist when I'm home."  
  
Red snorts. "Ha! _That's_ what does it for you?"  
  
Mary flushes and snaps back "Shut up! _Everybody_ likes his damn pants! That's the point of them!"  
  
Blue frowns and shakes his head. "I don't. It looks like he's trying to hard."  
  
Mary dies laughing. "Blue - stars! - _never_ change. I love it!"  
  
Edge clears his throat drawing attention back to him, and makes eye contact with Mary despite the little giggles still escaping her. "They must be just trying just the right amount, if you're finally taking notice _Mary_."  
  
_Mary_ not princess or something else derogatory. Beyond flustered she ignored him, sits up and looks back over to blue.  
  
"See the difference Blue?"  
  
Blue was staring intently at her face. Since her talk with Black - or maybe they just figured it out on their own because everyone of them was too perceptive for their own good - they all had avoided outright staring at her soul anymore. Papyrus said something about it not being fair. Though, it wasn't like they could _not_ see it, they just weren't actively _looking_ anymore.  
  
Blue slowly replies. "I think so. When you were flirting with red you..." He does glance down at her chest a moment before jerking his eyes back up, obviously changing the wording of what he was going to say "were _pretending_ interest despite it being very lewd and sin- since!"  
  
A nice save but she had a feeling that word had been about to be _sincere_.  
  
" _since_ " He repeats as if he can hear her doubt. "what you said to Edge was _honest_ despite how you worded it, it wasn't the same thing at all. But i don't get why."  
  
Red sighs exasperated. "For fucks sake-"  
  
"No I get that you're playing an elaborate game of flirting chicken" Blue cuts him off dismissively. "I just don't get _why_ since we all know Red doesn't have shame."  
  
Mary shrugs "Its funny and its better than just ignoring it and letting his perving go unchallenged."  
  
 " _And_ ," Blue continues on, looking like he's already latched onto some new idea and is just building up to it.: "people like Edge are too self confident to tease with attraction. A _real_ challenge would be to see who loses in a complement competition! Everyone's susceptible to earnestness!"

His eye lights sparkle and Mary stares back at him realizing she's been played as everything just goes tumbling into place. "You manipulative son of a bitch." She's both aghast and impressed.  
  
Looking far too pleased with himself Blue sings out "Swear jar~"  
  
"We're in." Edge says quickly.  
  
Red snorts. "Only if ya mean earnestly trying to get in-"  
  
Edge smacks Red upside the head and like an old box tv resetting he doesn't miss a beat. "Yeah what the boss said."

The door opens and Papyrus comes in with an arm full of groceries. "I have returned home - have you all bamboozled the human yet?"  
  
Mary groans "Does _everyone_ in this house cheat?!?"

One of the recliners turns around to reveal Sans with a book in his lap. No telling how long he'd been there.  
  
"Yep." He confirms easily.


	14. Mary Sue Ellen and the Laws of Attraction: Nice Things Like Violence

Sans lays down ground rules before the game - if she could even call it that - begins. "if you're going to do this its going to be fair - souls out."  
  
Edge scoffs. "That is still hardly fair. She cant read souls/interpret."  
  
Sans just turns that endless grin on him. "Our friend Mary is pretty perceptive, she'll catch on quick."  
  
Blue speaks up egarly. " Plus the _point_ is to be honest so we can just explain if something confuses her, right?"  
  
Less than enthusiastic agreement but agreement none the less from the group of them.  
  
  
  
They all said something kind. Not a single one said anything that she could misunderstand or that scared her - it was all accepting stuff. Every word they spoke Mary felt like she was waiting for a sucker punch that missed - not a damn thing hit the parts that she knee jerked away from. Every word was _too much_ she was so full and full on crying before everyone else had gone _once_.  
  
Papyrus points out that it's Sans turn but he shakes his head. "Nah shes not ready for what i could say."  
  
Mary: so its my turn?   
  
And she goes down the line. Pouring back out all the love they'd filled her with and returning it with as clear honesty as she could manage. she could still feeling like she wasnt saying enough or the right things but with their souls out its painfully obvious they understood and somehow that was worse.   
  
Voice breaking and thick Mary tacks on at the end "And sans? Fuck you."  
  
Not offended at all Sans replies "Yeah that's fair."  
  
And she bolts.

She needs... She needs to do something anything. Spar? No if she saw Black he'd want her to talk about it and she couldn't handle that right now.  
  
Who'd that leave? Stretch? She'd _immediately_ tell him his brother was a bastard, so no.   
  
She'd probably also say something unfortunate to Squire...   
  
She just had to get out of the house then  
  
Mary's blind headlong flight out the door is stopped short by a solid form in front of her and grasping hands keeping her from falling over.   
  
It was Napstabot.  
  
"What is your major malfunction?" The sort of surprised honest snapping instead of his usual almost passive disdain.   
  
"I, i just need to hit something so I can stop feeling everything."   
  
"Now _that_ i can do something about."

 

He takes Mary to the studio, which isn't set up for anything in particualr and looks a lot like an empty ware house without any of the crew, props, or puzzles.  
  
"Do you know what i am?" He (THEY CORRECT LATER) asks.  
  
Mary: this feels like a trick question  
  
Napstabot: good because it is... I think its time you got to see what I'm made of  
  
His show is filmed...

Differently. Sometimes the framing makes Mary look like the hero. Others the Villan. Its very much like a plotted music video but sometimes she has lines and often she doesn't actually know the plot and rarely does she hear the song before watching the episodes rerun (they play live usually).    
  
The first episode when she went under the floor actually framed her as a hero when she came back and when he asked who was she and who sent her and she said Mettaton he sneered and replied "of course i should have known with the color scheme" setting them up for the ability to do crossover events later.

Anyways shes going to hit the bot with the bat and go full on villian and it'll lead up to another event but really she'll think they're sparing/playing a game until oops the bot isn't fuctional FREAK OUT and then oh hey yeah napstabot is a ghost what a great episode to reveal that really human why are you sobbing monsters turn to dust when they die don't you know anything?


	15. Mage School: A PTA Swapfell idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unlisted idea because I have no plot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Why is that skeleton wearing slutty fuck me boots?" Scoffs one of the human mothers, not bothering to keep her voice down. The skeleton in question turns neatly on the heeled boots in question and lowers his heart shaped shades. 
> 
> "Why the fuck do you think Karen?"
> 
> Maybe his uncle was right - maybe being on the PTA wouldn't be so bad.

Dan's cousin was a mage.   
  
It wasn't a shock exactly - how many elementary school kids used their free time on six different scholastic projects and had an eerie knack of saying exactly the right - or wrong - thing at the perfect opportunity to spin a situation on a dime...   
  
Well okay maybe all of them, but Dan still considered Lizzy special and had practically raised the girl himself.

 _Someone_ had to.   
  
Monsters had been up on the surface for two decades now and one of the very first things their queen had insisted on was building a school exclusive to monsters - and _mages_.   
  
Monsters being real was hard enough for society to accept but the understanding that now with magic unlocked from the underground, those born with the correct gene combination would be _actual_ mages was pretty terrifying.   
  
People talked about being corrupted, explanations and studies were done why older folk couldn't have their abilities unlocked - one interview with the Monster's Royal Scientist hand waved it away as a magic seepage issue and then devolved into technical jargon.   
  
In the end it was agreed that tests would be preformed and any with the aptitude would be trained at the Dreemurr's Academy.   
  
While some wanted the prestige getting their human child into such an exclusive and monster prominent school... Many families, Dan's Aunt included, saw their children as tainted.

For that reason and several others the quickly erected school had dormitories added on and a team of lawyers and counselors to get the children into the care of more accepting families - both human and, oddly enough, monsters.

Prejudice didn't go both ways it seemed though, given their history with mages, it probably should have.  
  
Lizzy was thankfully spared that fate as her father had, due to unrelated circumstances, divorced Dan's Aunt and split custody with Dan.  
  
As baby faced as he still was the looks he got doing school activities with his cousin as her guardian were kind of awful, but no worse than the rest of the looks he got in general.   
  
Besides the only really important look he ever got was from Lizzy everyday when he picked her up from school.   
  
"DanDan! DanDan look!" His cousin demanded, silver sequined backpack bouncing against her side. The arm the bag wasn't slug over was extended out towards him holding something covered in glitter towards him.   
  
Gingerly he took it and looked it over while Lizzy danced in place waiting eagerly for his reaction.

"Oh hey these are souls right?" He asked with interest. The cartoon shaped hearts on the paper would always be just that to him, but since monsters had surfaced the shapes, and even the colors they came in, had new meanings.

Made Valentine's day a whole lot more interesting and awkward than he remembered from when he was a kid.   
  
"Uh huh!" She nodded and then reached up to tug the picture so she could show him. "That ones me," Lizzy began pointing at the light blue glittery heart, _patience_ if he remembered correctly. "And that one's daddy," the bigger one was a violet - _deter_ \- no _preserverance_ that's right. "And this one is you DanDan!"   
  
The dark blue heart was lopsided and the color still didn't sit well with him - but that's what the scan had said. _Integrity_.


	16. Accentuate the Positive: A Fell/Fallout Crossover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another ambitious project.
> 
> Monsters had been on the surface when it became everything was going to hell well - there weren't THAT many monsters and America wanted to keep ahold of that potential for themselves. Every monster got a place in the vaults. 
> 
> Some were Monster/Human mixed and some were entirely monsters and some were entirely human etc. 
> 
> Monsters live basically forever unless they have kids. 
> 
> Due to circumstances Fell Sans got placed in a mixed vault while he made sure his bro ended up being in a control monster vault.
> 
> Main character is a 16year old girl - no shipping - who ends up traveling with Sans after their vault opens, each with their own goals/ purpose. 
> 
> Found family/ Sibling focus I believe with some other issues that I wont spoil unless i write more and it can't be avoided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blame blast from the Past for this, I do.

Vault 91 was supposed to be a social experiment between monsters and humans - population was half and half the purpose of which to develop a base of mage children which develop with a particular genome when regularly exposed or over-saturated to regular concentrated magic.

From there further stipulations were laid out for the overseer, however they never got the chance to complete even the first stage. A massive earthquake twisted and crushed one end of the shelter leaving extensive tunnels that the monsters almost immediately took to.

Now the two communities are only semi connected and gratefully mistrustful of one another.

Monsters had long lives and longer memories where as every new full generation of Vault 91's humans approached monsters differently - sometimes as peaceful trading partners with varying levels of integrity and sometimes with LOVE in their souls.

Sonya knew she was lucky to be born in one of the more... Non conflict ridden times.

In fact, the current policy was one of live and let live... With heavy emphasis on leaving the tunnels completely alone.

The same earthquakes that had originally cracked open the vault had completely sealed it off from the surface. Unsure when, or if it would ever actually be safe to return, the first overseer decided to organize the human survivors into planning for long term survival of the species.

The chamber right outside the vault was cultivated into a huge garden and while the vegetables and fruits that they ate now were slightly removed from their origin species, they were successfully germinated and had the interesting effect of allowing humans to develop a very minor tolerance of ingesting minuscule amounts of residual radiation.

Which all was to say that Sonya should be grateful - when considering the other possible outcomes for what was left of humanity at the mercy of vault tech... Mother not approving of her boy friend was not actually the end of the world.

In fact she'd managed more than just necking in an unused room's closet so really a lecture from her mom - the current overseer - was not that bad in the great scheme of things... Even if it  _was_ annoying.

The 15th overseer of Vault 91 sighs heavily signaling the end and Sonya tunes back in. "... I don't know what to do anymore Sonya, if you were stupid that'd be one thing - " This was a familiar refrain, and the one thing she agreed with.

Sonya  _wasn't_ stupid. She *knew* what she was doing. And Adam -

The ground buckles and shakes, the lights flicker, sirens and people _**scream.**_

 

 

She wakes up in darkness.

Her head hurts, that's her first thought as her eyes blink open.

Following that first sharp awareness, a half dozen other bodily complaints make themselves known. Too much to know exactly where and what hurts and how bad, luckily _she_ didn't have to be able to think well enough to know.

Sonya lifts her left hand, and after a few failed attempts, manages to wipe the grit off her face. She blinks a half dozen times, and eyes watering but thankfully able to make out the dim green glow of her pip. Stats... Major head trauma - which explained why all she could hear was faint ringing - , mild to moderate bruising along her back and her left leg...

Oh _that_ didn't look good.

Feeling nauseous, Sonya drops her arm with a groan she doesn't hear but feels with a gut turning twist. Her right hand scrambles urgently at the front pocket of her vault overalls for the emergency stim the overseer insisted all garden workers carried with them in addition to what was carried by the security detail. It takes far more coordination than it should to pull the needle from the cloth but once she does, she stabs it into the side of her exposed belly.

Blessed cool relief burns through her system. She lays there, panting while her body repairs itself and the alarms and groans of the injured slowly filter in and the ringing slowly dies out. It isn't until she hears her name that she really reacts, sitting up and then scrambling through the mess of the overturned desk and rubble.

"Sonya-" He mother - the _Overseers_ voice cuts off in a cough and she finds her half crushed under a sheet of metal and dirt from where the ceiling had collapsed on top of her. It doesn't take much to see that her mother is dying, how pale her face is even in the red emergency lighting hear how strained her voice is. No amount of stims could keep her alive long enough to dig her out.

"Sonya the garden." The overseers voice cracks and wheezes but its enough that she hears, that she understands.

The vault groans under the weight of the earth and Sonya gets to her feet and runs. She doesn't wait for the overseer to die. She doesn't say goodbye.

"Everyone! To the Gardens! Grab your neighbor and move! Move, move, move! The vaults about to collapse!" Sonya yells, climbing over obstacles, grabbing an arm and then jerking to the side when the arm did not come with the person it was supposed to be attached to.

They - Vance - were clinging to the makeshift tourniquet and absolutely no help in navigating the ruined hall but she, and they, and a handful of other people stumbled out into the damp clean earth alive and mostly well. Someone - Iris from the security detail - took Vance away from her, barking orders and organizing the survivors.

There were only twenty people or so out of the little over a hundred. There were more in there, and the structure still stood. It might not collapse, might settle, but either way there was still time - she should get up from her knees. Gather some volunteers to go back for the rest - Adam, where was Adam was he still in there?

Sonya pushes off the ground and takes two thoughtless steps forward - and the vault gives in a wave of screaming metal and dirt knocking her off her feet for the second time today.

 

~*~ Elsewhere. ~*~

A handful of whimsums, a few bunnies, a bear and a mosmold, several members of the dog squad, the entire rock clan, a handful of madjacks, two vulkins, and a particularly stupid temmie.

That was the sum of the monster survivors from Vault 91.

There had been more at one time, but the first earthquake and a few hundred years of off again - on again skirmishing with the humans had whittled them away.

... And the second earthquake since their re-entombment within the earth had dusted them all a mere year away from their planned resurfacing to reconnect with the rest of the vaulted monster population.

Everyone dusted.

Except for Sans.

Of course that was just his luck, wasn't it?


	17. Accentuate the Positive: Wisefool? More like sophmole

Vault 91 has collapsed after a terrible earthquake and the survivors in the underground garden are organizing themselves as best they can. By birthright Sonya should be in charge but she's 16 and some people aren't too happy with the idea.  
  
Right now things are being handled by the security survivors but Sonya isn't worried about politics - shes worried about her boyfriend Adam and any other survivors who might be on the other side of the dirt.   
  
Its been decided that shifting any of the rubble might just bury the gardens too - which now is their only methods of survival but... Sonya knows there's monsters used to living underground and digging tunnels out there beyond the gardens.   
  
Why NOT ask for help? History aside they're in a peaceful lull right? History says she should be fine. So she heads out into the tunnels alone.  
  
She has some supplies that had been passed around. A little food, another stim 'in case the monsters attack', her canteen, a bat. And of course her Pip which is basically the multitool everyone needs.   
  
Sans meanwhile is trying to dig his way out by blasters, but its a year of work for all of the vault monsters no telling how long it'll take him to escape now.

But his brother's out there in Vault 2 - the deepest vault purely monster control Vault set to open x amount of years which had already been open for a while now. He had to get out of here.

Sonya wonders around and almost gets eaten by this worm/centapied/bettle thing that digs tunnels. She's never seen one so big but its drawn by blood and she manages to escape.

Sees Sans blasting dirt, does a scan with her pip and hey wouldn't you know they're not that far from the surface - and suddenly she has a plan. Get on the surface and come at the vault from where the entrance should be - this earthquake might have unburried it.

But the monster is a scary skeleton with lazor cannons so she's not going to go up and talk to him after all.

Instead she goes back into the tunnels.

From her time working the gardens she knows there are blind mutant moles out there and what the gardening team would do to keep them out of their food was play a high pitched sound outside of human hearing to drive them to the surface and bash them in with their bats.

Her plan is to kill a bunch and bleed them where she saw the monster 'digging' so the scary wurm/centapied/beetle will dig the hole for them.

Of course Sans hears the noise - outside human range doesn't mean monster range apparently and thinks the human girl is trying to kill him so they fight - but her Pip aggitates a BIG mutant mole and it gets ahold of Sans who'd been trying to strangle her to death.

She baseball bats it to death and tells him her plan.

It goes pretty smoothly until they do hit the surface and the wurm centa beetle turns on her which fair.

Sans uses his lazer and nearly passes out so.... They're even.

 

Sans realizes magic is decomposed in radiation - using it could kill him as his magic is constantly producing and fighting to keep him alive now basically.

Sonya Pipboy maps back to the entrance of the vault which it turns out WAS opened on that side by the earthquake.

Signs of an attack - a group of raiders left behind to guard the spot for them - and capture Sans and Sonya.

One explains that the survivors of the vault on this side had obviously just gotten out before the raiders showed up and that they planned to hunt them down and take to the nearest town to sell because they're soft and easy pickings and fetch a good price.   
  
Sonya petitions to become a raider means fighting biggest mother fucker in there. Shes ballsy but gets her ass kicked and her nose broken for her trouble.   
  
Locked up with Sans - whos cuffed and is calling her three kinds of stupid but a) they were entertained enough not to rape her yet and b) she pickpocketed a gun.   
  
"So the overseer can pick locks?" Sans half mocks half asks.  
  
Bobby pins from hair (fairytails are high but bangs are just a little too short.)   
  
They confiscated her make up.   
  
Gum.   
  
Sans still has things in his inventory.   
  
Vault dwellers are so soft between the two of them only the girl was armed - with a bat and a security baton.

They don't seriously gaurd them beyond locking them up.

So when they escape, the pair move silently clearing out the place in different directions.   
  
Sans claims its too much work but if they're going after the vault dwellers and so is she, she'll just end up captured like this again or worse - and even though he's going to a different vault she knows where it is and the raiders would get it out of her sooner or later.   
  
She doesn't think she convinced him but with a sigh, a pun they sneak around separately and murder them all.   
  
Used a pillow person x sewed person y as a gift for a silencer she puts her stolen gun to use.   
  
She lists the dead she finds - Adams not on it. It's all she has.   
  
Sans agrees they'll continue together as far as the next city.   
  
Radio signal is no doubt why they left the vault.

When they get to the city they find some survivors and tell them about the ones still underground, and she learns her boyfriend signed up with a group and went off to parts unknown.

Since its parts UNknown and sans is heading across whats left of the states to go to look for his brother's vault he says she can tag along.  
  
  
Sans makes disparaging comments. She acts like a teen.   
  
  


They get closer.


	18. Accentuate the Positive: A Falling Out - and Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans and Sonya have been traveling for a while now together. Bonding having each others back. They learn about ghouls and what happens to monsters with too much radiation in their system.
> 
> They actually do track down Adam the boyfriend but despite everything Sonya's been through and some other developments that are spoilers, He turns out to be a looser and while Sonya and Sans are close Sans manages to put his foot in his mouth over this one leading to a huge disagreement.

"I told you - I fuckin' told ya-" Sans says going off about the no good boyfriend not long after they make camp on the very outskirts of the city's territory.   
  
"Shut up shut the absolute fuck up what do you know huh?" She glares at him and gestures sharply to cut him off when he tries to come back with something snarky. "Don't you _fucking_ dare answer that because you don't know _shit_ and you don't know _me_ you don't know a _god damn thing_." Sonya says visiously and then storms off into the wastelands alone.  
  
Crying wiping her face pulling out her hand gun just in case something else out here in the wastelands underestimates her.   
  
"God damn it Sans." She turns around and screams back at the fire which is already out of sight. "God DAMN IT SANS YOU SANCTIMONIOUS PRICK!!!"  
  
Who cares who hears her shes not a child she can take care of herself!  
  
... And then the ground gives way beneath her.   
  
She falls into a net suspended over the spikes of a pit trap she hadn't seen coming.   
  
A tall figure with a wide brimmed hat blocks the light.   
  
"Human... I will only ask you one question and if it is not answered to my satisfaction i will cut the rope. What do you know of Sans?"  
  
What did she know of Sans?   
  
A hell of a lot more than he knew about her!   
  
But... When Sonya opens her mouth... That doesn't come out.  
  
She hesitates and the man - monster she presumes - pulls back the hammer on his gun and aims it at the rope holding her up.   
  
For someone so good at figuring out what people what to hear she was at a loss here. Friend or not the monster obviously knew Sans, but anything she could say would be in a small way betrayal of trust.   
  
And despite how much it _hurt_ , how betrayed she felt from those handful of words he'd said...  
  
Sonya bears her teeth in a defiant grin, "Well he never leaves me hanging."

 


	19. Like Nobody's Watching: A Dancetale Post Pacifist Story

Maybe he… shouldn’t? But no.  
  
No.  
  
That was the fear talking.   
  
Taking a deep breath, Theodore opened the door.   
  
It was hardly ten steps - twenty? He had lost count but it was a good parking spot. Too good really as the trip from the car to the sidewalk, and from the sidewalk to the entrance, was over so quickly.   
  
Too quickly.   
  
Deep breaths. Nothing's wrong. He had this. Right?

Right.  
  
The door was glass, see through, with a nice font proclaiming the name and hours of business.  
Before he made eye contact with his reflection, he pushed - and then cursing silently pulled open the door, almost jumping as the bell above him went off.   
  
A figure bustled out of the door behind the wrap around desk, not giving him much time to do anything more than to have a nervous glance around.   
  
Desk, Schedule, posters, awards case, waiting area, table, magazines toys, computer behind desk. Monster behind desk.  
“Welcome to What’s the Pointe! I am the Great Papyrus, how may I be of Assistance Valued Guest?”   
  
Valued Guest? Well there were worse things he’d been called.  
  
The expectant skeletal grin wasn’t anymore off putting than any other customer service smiles he’d been subjected to, but he still found his hands twisting on his bag’s strap.   
  
“I - uh - just wanted to um inquire about uh…” He struggles to spit it out, not knowing how to ask the very simple question, and while the other’s smile never falters he can’t help but feel as if maybe he should just leave it would be so much easier than - no he was determined, well no he wasn’t, but he _wanted_ to do this and -   
  
Apparently he had hesitated too long. Papyrus is already nodding, hands going to his hips.   
“Of Course! We have many programs - are you interested in social, educational, financial, language -”  
  
"Dance!" Theodore blurts. Surprised at his own outburst,  he continues softer, "Swing - swing dancing in particular I mean."   
  
He swallows hard but despite the long blink his sockets had made, Papyrus doesn't seem at all put off by his rudeness or awkwardness.   
  
Which was good. Small mercies and all that.  
  
"An Excellent choice! The Blook family leads that class and- "   
  
He rambles on about things Theodore had already read about online - the schedule, the fee, the sort of shoes to wear, possible opportunity for public events and such - but honestly he's so relieved that he isn't listening.   
  
Instead he's staring hard at the shirt Papyrus is wearing. The sleeves billow some every time he gestures and moves, and the ruffles around the plunging neck line look soft enough his fingers were itching to touch them.   
  
Would he be able to wear such a thing, someday?  
  
Then again, that showed off a _lot_ of... Uh chest area. Maybe he didn't want something _quite_ that low cut.  
  
Mechanically he manged to pay the fee for the year - hoping this would convince him that he _had_ to come back, surprised at how much the discount for doing so saved him in the long run even if his meager savings were currently weeping.   
  
After stuttering out an awkward goodbye he left, hoping next time it would be easier. 

 

~*~

  
  
It was not any easier.   
  
But he promised himself he'd do this.   
  
So once more out of the car and into the lobby.  
  
Instead of the skeleton a... Cow? Lady? No Cows didn't have horns - wait she's a monster - a person - he should know better than to judge based on appearance - shit -   
  
"Hello dear, what brings you in to day."   
  
Theodore starts and rushes those last hurried steps forward, face flushing as he avoids her gaze. "Uh the Swing dancing class? The one at seven?"   
  
She claps her hands together, the paws making a soft noise as she does. "Splendid! Napstablook will be so happy to hear that - the class is smaller this year than it usually is and the poor dear was feeling rather discouraged. What made you decide on swing, if you don't mind me asking?"   
  
He did mind, not because it was personal but because small talk was the bane of his existence until he got comfortable with a new person or place. But it would be rude not to answer.   
  
So he does look up at her, meeting warm dark eyes, and tentatively offers, "A coworker talked me into it. He's been coming for years but school work hit hard and he had to take a break but... He's still re-recruiting for the place."   
  
His voice cracks on the word, but he tries to keep his tone light and positive. Jadon had been asking everyone to at least give the place a try for the past two years. This was just. The first time. He'd been able to get up the nerve.   
  
Her smile grows softer. "I'm so glad to hear that. Well, ewe can swing if you want to - the room is the third one down."   
  
Permission and directions given, Theodore nods quickly and thanks her, making his escape down the hallway off to the right of the desk.   
  
The first room's door was shut, and the lights were off, the second had little girls of various sizes attempting to follow a rhythm playing on the speakers while a purple? Woman patiently showed one in particular the foot movement they were going for.   
  
What if he had misread? What if his class was also mostly for kids? His hands tighten on his bag strap, and he hesitates in the door of the third studio.   
  
Less than ten adults - all human - lingered inside, some chatting, one stretching, and two seemingly practicing.   
  
He ducks inside before his lurking can be noticed, finding a spot away from the rest to set down his bag and then... Nothing to do but wait.   
  
He was wearing a pair of slacks and a button-up, with a sweater vest dragged down over the top. It was different then what most were wearing - which mostly consisted of jeans and yoga pants - but between the two girls in semi formal dresses, and the practicing couple who looked ready to go out and compete _professionally_ well, it was safe to say he didn't stand out.  
  
In fact, there seemed to be a clear divide of regulars and those who were just as new, and hopefully clueless as he was.   
  
Pulling off his bag, he sits on the floor, and checks the time. It was seven so the teacher should be coming in any -  
  
"Oh. You're already all here... Sorry." The soft voice comes from the door, and immediately after looking over at the speaker Theodore's mind starts playing 'Casper, the Friendly ghost'.   
  
It isn't that there is much of a resemblance - the ghost looks like a kids costume, a sheet with oblong eyes. The line in the middle almost looks like a seam, and the ends are scalloped? Over all the design made him think of plush, kid-friendly Halloween.   
  
Plus the way he started to de materialize almost as soon as he stopped speaking made it pretty clear this ghost didn't mean any harm. Several voices called out in protest - this was the teacher the desk lady had mentioned, Napstablook - but he didn't reappear.   
  
Instead two other ghosts floated in, and, seeing the other's start to move, Theodore gets up, brushing off his pants and joining the loose ring that formed around the two.   
  
Well. He was a few feet away from the nearest person's back, but he was there and could see. _That's_ what counted.   
  
Instead of white, these two were colored - the one on his left being kind of a golden color with angry eyebrows and the other having small button eyes and a green glow.   
  
"Alright, for all you newbies I'm Bapstablook, and this is my cousin Sapstablook." His voice sounded like a perpetually displeased gym teachers, but Sapstablook seemed friendly enough, waving a stubby little arm excitedly to everyone around the circle - only to stop when he bumped into his cousin who glared at him.   
  
"My other cousin - who you chased away -" Despite knowing he hadn't done anything, Theodore shrank in on himself a little at the pointed comment. "Is Napstablook, and we are your Swing instructors."   
  
He stares around the circle for a moment before Sapstablook taps him. "Fine. We'll do an introduction as an icebreaker, and then get right to it."   
  
Bapstablook points to a random person and so it begins.   
  
Various ages. Hobbies. Experience levels. Thankfully he wasn't the only one who's first day was today, and there were some who had only been here once or twice before.   
  
The others seemed to be a mix of really experienced, and 'some' experience.   
  
Theodore, when it came around to him, had to admit to the opposite wall that he had no experience which is why he saw Napstablook's return, fading in before a laptop in the corner.   
  
There was no way he was going to remember all these names... But it would be really hard to forget the monster's names.  
  
... Really easy to get them mixed up though.   
  
Good thing he was here to dance. Not speak.   
  
Music starts just as the last person finishes. And Bapstablook dips in a way that looks like a nod of satisfaction while Sapstablook shines brighter and zips off out of the circle - vanishing instead of passing through people.   
  
"Alright you lot - swing music follows a count of four, you can hear it there in music right?" He bobs in time with the music. "One, two, three, four." He counts a few times and some have already started bobbing along.   
  
The crowd parts and Theodore is shocked as what looks very much like a person size rag doll walks into the middle of the circle beside Bapstablook. "Right so, I want you to get a feel for that rhythm so bounce - with your knees like Sapsta here - along with the beat."   
  
The rag doll - Sapsta? As in the green ghost? They could poses things? - bounces seemingly happy despite the lack of face or clothing or anything but knotted and stuffed limbs while Bapstablook starts counting again floating around and watching people with those angry eyebrows and judging white eyes.   
  
Theodore tries to bounce, but despite hearing the sound can't seem to time up with it at first, eventually just mimicking the ragdoll figure. As soon as he does he can tell it feels right - but it also feels like he'll loose it the second he gets distracted.   
  
"Good, good, alright." Finished with his round and satisfied with everyone's progress, he returns to the middle. "Now, everything you do will be following along with that rhythm. Miranda, Kara?"   
  
The two girls in the swishy dresses step into the middle and face each other, both hands just loosely held between them. "Both you and your partners movements will flow with the count. We'll start off easy-"   
  
He waves his small arm at the girls who bounce a bit like the rest of you as if counting one, two, three, and then they move one stepping forward the other back and while its slow enough to follow, Theodore feels his heart sink and his nerves leap as he realizes he has no idea how they're doing it.   
  
"Like so, but each step doesn't _have_ to be on the beat." The girls pick up the pace and now he _really_ has no idea how they're doing it but it looks lovely, the swaying skirts and hair, the grinning lipstick smiles... They some how make a ring around the circle until they're back to where they started, slightly flushed as the song ends.   
  
There's a smattering of applause and belatedly he joins in, and then noticed that half the class has stopped bouncing and stops too, almost positive he'd lost the rhythm anyways.   
  
Of course as soon as he does Bapstablook snaps "Hey keep bouncing - this is a class not a lecture, participation is mandatory!"   
  
_Precipitation_ is mandatory too - Theodore can feel himself sweat and can only hope it wont stain his pits noticeably. The vest was a bad idea.   
  
He starts bouncing again, glad at least the reprimand hadn't been directed specifically at him. "Since most of you seem to think you've got a feel for it, we're going to start with the basic first step."   
  
Timing was hard, the bouncing helped but only when he could follow the pattern and the music would shift between songs and Sapstablook's ragdoll was going around helping individuals with the steps instead of just being a visual count.   
  
Under his breath he muttered the count himself and that helped immensely - but still had trouble getting his feet to come down when he wanted it to.   
  
Then they were instructed to do that step, in time to the music, while moving, one after another in the circle.   
  
It was fun - or rather people seemed to be having fun and he could feel himself do it right about a third if a time which felt like some small victory - until Bapstablook had them turn around and do it the other way and he felt like he was starting from scratch again.   
  
But, stomach clenching or not he was here, he was doing it, and everyone was so focused on what they were doing that they probably didn't notice just how crap he was at this.   
  
"Alright feel free to stop." Relieved Theodore did so, and since several of the others were, went and got his water bottle from his bag.   
  
So sweaty already, and thirsty. Dancing was a whole lot harder than it looked and they hadn't even really gotten started yet.   
  
They group back up into a circle, and despite a few stragglers, he moves on with the lesson. "So raise your hand if you want to follow." It was just girls who raised their hand, and while he didn't get a good count before they were told to drop them, it seemed like there was going to be too many leaders.  
  
"And Leaders?"   
  
Theodore raised his hand nervously. "Followers please go to the closest leader."  
  
The girl beside him was far too pretty to possibly want to dance with someone as small and gross as he currently felt but she didn't seem to be judging when she smiled and he smiled back awkwardly offering a quiet apology as the rest of the group pared off. "I'm sorry if I lead you wrong - I've uh never done this before."   
  
She waves it off. "Neither have I, but we'll be fine. We're here to learn right?"   
  
He nods with some relief, wishing he could be as positive minded.   
  
It turned out that he'd been right - there _were_ too many leaders - but things seemed to be sorted out, though one guy had Sapstablook's ragdoll as a partner.   
  
"Leaders - your job is to guide, to tell your partner where you're going so they can follow you. Offer both hands, face up, to your followers."   
  
Glad that despite how he was sweltering in his clothes, his hands at least were dry, he follows the instructions and the girl takes his hands.  
  
"Followers - your job is to follow, I'm going to ask you to trust your partner. Take their hands and close your eyes."   
  
She closes her eyes and Theodore swallows hard, that knot in his gut getting tighter.   
  
How can he lead - how can she trust him - if he dint know what be was doing?!?  
  
"Alright leaders, all I want you to do is to slowly walk backwards a few steps. Followers, you should be able to feel where they're going through their hands - keep your grips gentle! There shouldn't be a serious tug just the natural extension of your arms."   
  
He takes a small step back, and then another. His arms do extend and when he thinks their hands might shift, pull, instead she takes a step forward.   
  
They do that a while, given free reign to change direction and just get used to this sort of guiding because the leader is supposed to tell the follower what they're doing with their body this way.  
  
She's given the option of not following if he turns and sometimes she uses it and he finds himself going straight instead though hes not sure how the gentle pressure on his hands or hers is telling them this... And he knows that there is no way he could do her bit.   
  
But soon they're told to do just that - close their eyes and let their follower pull them about. It feels ridiculous. Like at any moment he'll make a misstep but before he can get too far with that line of thinking another direction comes from the slight pull of her hands in his and he thinks maybe there is something to this but... He still is relieved when they're free to open their eyes.   
  
They're told to thank their partners and for the follows to rotate left and he's faced with another pretty girl - Rachael as she introduces herself - who seems just as happy to be here as the last, and isn't at all embarrassed to admit she's just as sweaty and tired as he is.   
  
Next they're to put that first step together with a partner - but also with the music which starts back up. Its lively and makes him want to dance, but after the brief awkwardness of being told where to put his hands - one thumb along her brastrap and the other in her hand - he realizes he's forgotten the step. Watching the others reminds him and they attempt it several times but... While Rachael is nothing but grace he feels as clumsy and stiff as a board.   
  
No hard feelings from her as they rotate partners again and try some more.   
  
He's glad though when Bapstablook calls a fifteen minute break for bathrooms and so people can drink some water.   
  
He does the later, sitting by his bag and watching the professional elder couple dance to the song that Napstablook has put on. Miranda and Kara join them moments later, and both are just so good, they feel like they're part of the song.  
  
Theodore can't help but feel a bit envious despite the awe and respect he had for the dancers.   
  
Sapstablook, still inhabiting the rag doll, comes over to him, making come hither gestures with the almost mitten shaped hands.  
  
Reluctantly he puts his water away and stands up. "Yea- yes?"   
  
There's a gesture over to the dancers and Theodore feels his face flush - hopefully its hidden by the red of exertion. "No I couldn't, I'm terrible, I don't have a clue about what I'm doing -"   
  
His hands are up in protest as his words get progressively more self deprecating - but he can't help it with as nervous as he was. Sapstablook was one of the instructors and actually _knew_ what to do.   
  
Dancing with _him_ would be like trying to ride a bike with rust choked training wheels stuck on.   
  
The slightly lumpy doll head tilts sideways and slower, the come hither gesture is repeated.   
  
He doesn't want to make a scene and isn't this what he came here for? To _dance_?  
  
"O-okay" He gives a forced awkward laugh. "But I did warn you." Theodore feels like people are watching as he's lead out away from the edge of the room.   
  
And the ragdoll helps him arrange his hands again - then tilts his head up from staring at their feet and...   
  
He messes up the timing three steps in but hes patiently allowed to try again.   
  
Its not... Terrible. Even though he's quote unquote leading, Sapstablook seems to subtly guide him so they get a little further along before Bapstablook calls for them to regroup.   
  
Feeling a bit better, Theodore says thanks and puts himself back in the circle with the rest.   
  
The next step is harder. Instead of staying in place they're to improvise and move about, incorporating the few things they've been practicing thus far.   
  
To make matters worse, someone gets a call and has to leave, so Sapstablook isn't partnered with anyone, and somehow the guy who steps beside Theodore has just assumed he was a follower.   
  
But he can't say anything about it. His throat feels like it's closed up and so he just lets the taller guy wrap his arm around him and lead him to the music.   
  
Theodore knew he was bad at leading - but the rest of the class proved he was even worse at following.   
  
He had no idea what he was doing, had _only_ been doing the leader position up till now, but every single person he was pared with next was also a leader.   
  
His eyes were burning and he knew it was just sweat that had gotten in them, but every further awkward embarrassing mistake made it worse.   
  
When the end of the class came they were allowed to free dance to the music, but he was really tired and bowed out, sitting by his bag to drink his water and watch.   
  
Everyone... Seemed to be having fun - though some did pack up and leave since it was nearly ten.   
  
Theodore was tempted to do the same but... He really wanted to be here. To be doing this. To _dance_.   
  
Sapstablook came over and tried to talk him into dancing again - well less talking and more miming, but he politely and firmly declined.   
  
He insisted he was fine - he was just going to practice the basics.   
  
So for the rest of the class he did exactly that, stiffly going through the steps, counting but slower than the music, wishing he didn't feel this stupid need to prove something when all he wanted to do was just go home.  
  
Eventually almost everyone is gone, and the few still around are obviously helping the ghostly cousins pack up to leave and he finally feels like he can go, slipping out without saying goodbye.   
  
The second class is dark, as is the first, and while there are lights on up at the front the place feels hollow and closed.   
  
Running a hand through his short thick hair, gripping and tugging on it a bit, Theodore sighs. "Well that went well." The sarcastic comment isn't cutting the way he wants it to be, just tired and quiet.  
  
"did it?" A low voice questions, making him jump.  
  
Behind the desk is a skeleton - different then the one he'd met before - with his legs crossed and propped up back there, flipping through his newspaper.   
  
"Oh well uh everyone was super nice and had fun?" He offers.   
  
Without looking up the skeleton replies "sounds like a swinging good time."   
  
Theodore blinks and shifts from foot to foot. "Uh yeah?" Isn't that what he had just said? Small talk was the worst.   
  
The hesitant, questioning lit must of offended him as he lowers the paper and looks over at him  sockets some how furrowing. "napstablook's swing class right? they must've really kept you stepping."   
  
Did he think Theodore didn't like monsters or something? "Well they had a great playlist, but it was Bapstablook who pushed us hard and Sapstablook demonstrating?"   
  
The other rolled his eyes and went back to his paper. Well obviously he blew that exchange as well as the class. Great.   
  
Rude. Or maybe he had been. Fuck it, he was going home.   
  
He doesn't say goodbye, just pushes through the door and heads to his car, glad that for the well-lit lot.   
  
Still he checks the back of his car before getting in. No murderclowns.   
  
Shoving his bag into the passenger seat, he takes a moment to glare at the crack across his windshield. It hadn't gotten any wider but he still felt the need to firmly remind it _not_ to shatter on the way home.   
  
Of course. That is if he can _get_ home.   
  
The engine turns over worrisomely, refusing to start.   
  
"Everything's off!" He yells incredulously. "Why are you dead? Don't do this to me." His words trail off in a whine as the car completely gives up.  
  
Theodore hits his head on the steering wheel a few times.   
  
Of course this was how he was going to end his shitty day.   
  



	20. Like Nobody's Watching: Spaghetti

Of course that was NOT how he was going to end his shitty day.   
  
Nope.   
  
Now he had to go back in and hope someone had some jumper cables and try to find a way between "Haha yeah I sure suck at cars as well as dancing." and just crying out of sheer relief because he wasn't being ignored despite how the night had gone.   
  
But as the last of the class came out, he just sat there, feeling his gut twist.   
  
Soon they were gone and he contemplated calling his insurance company to send someone out. It'd cost a pretty penny as he'd only gotten basic coverage but... He'd already missed his chance to ask for help.

 

Through undecided circumstances Papyrus ends up giving him a ride home.  
  
  
  
After he'd come back from changing, he'd found Papyrus had already made himself comfortable, sitting at the bar that separated his painfully small kitchen from the rest of the main room, eating his left over spaghetti.   
  
"Theodore, you're spaghetti is-"   
  
He cuts him off with a crooked grin. "Bad? Yeah I know."   
  
Papyrus frowns. "Not bad - I don't think there is a such thing as bad spaghetti - but it tastes _sad_."   
  
Sad? He chuckles and pulls out a few cloves of garlic from the fridge. Guess refreshing the food wouldn't hurt any - Theodore was always better at making edible food for other people than he was for himself on lazy days. "Well yeah. Its just. A little bit of pre-made store-brand sauce over an entire box of shell noodles."   
  
Dumping the haphazardly chopped garlic into a large pot, he opens a cabinet and pulls out two cans - one labeled tomato sauce and the other died tomatoes with onions. Cheap easy and it only would take a few minutes.   
  
"But I can do better - here dump your bowl back into the container and in about ten minutes I'll have it fixed right up Paps."   
  
He looked concerned but did as Theodore asked, unusually quiet. Sure he had reason to doubt his cooking abilities - that really was a sorry excuse for spaghetti - but it'd be fine he'd show him!   
  
He dumps the two cans into the pot, and the pulls out a simple thing of "Italian herbs" and a grinding bowl, rolling the seasoning around until it was powder instead of leaves and then dumping it ontop.   
  
Once it gets hot enough to start bubbling regularly, he takes the container of sad spaghetti and stirs it in, covering the whole thing with a lid to let it warm the noodles.   
  
The silence... Isn't comfortable, the way he's come to expect. Maybe. He'd offended Papyrus?   
  
Theodore hovers a bit more over the pot than strictly necessary wishing it would finish faster, and almost feels like he's presenting the fixed food to a panel in a competition instead of to a possible friend.  
  
Which was ridiculous right? This was the cheapest - well obviously not but _second_ cheapest - way to make spaghetti he knew and while it  _wasn't_ bad, it certainty wasn't worth the scrutiny Papyrus gave the bowel before slowly taking a bite.  
  
"This is MUCH better Theodore!" At the exclamation he felt like something unwound inside of him only to tense up at the next comment. "Why would you ever eat your own sadness when you could simply do this?"   
  
His hand rubs the back of his neck feeling the small prickly of hair growing back under the buzzed line. "Laziness?" He offered nervously.   
  
Okay maybe he wasn't a college student anymore but that didn't mean he didn't still have lazy days and bad food to go with it. Maybe he wouldn't feel so guilty if he wasn't half sure Papyrus was seconds away from sadly asking him 'you live like this?'   
  
Papyrus probably _would_ have ended up as an RA had he been able to go to school up here - and no one would get away with living off of nothing but energy drinks and ramen.   
  
Sockets narrowing he does not comment beyond "I see." Letting out a breath if relief Theodore drops his hand and goes to fix himself a bowl.   
  
"Why did you choose swing?" This is the second time he's been asked that today. He knows he's bad but damn universe could you be any less subtle? Well. At least no one's asked him why dance at all when he's obviously got no innate talent for it or anything else related to music.   
  
Papyrus isn't watching Theodore as he rounds the bar to straddle a stool one away from him. Instead he seems to be intent on putting a bit of tomato into a shell before eating it and repeating the process with the next one.   
  
Taking a bite of his own, he decides its nice with the shells, that he might do it again if they go on sale sometime. "Well uh," That _did_ garner Papyrus' attention and sheepishly Theodore swallows before continuing. "A friend at work has been asking people to come because the class has lost a lot of people over the last couple of years?"   
  
He shrugs and takes another bite, making sure to finish with it before speaking again to _mom_ yrus. "And I like the music, and I need to get out more..." Both of which are true even if he was thinking about not going again after the way tonight had gone.   
  
"And?" He prompted, sounding eager. _Eager_?   
  
Theodore feels his brows furrow as he looks up from his improved leftovers to see Papyrus leaning forward, with - holey socks were those sparkles in his sockets?   
  
Blushing for no good reason other than embarrassment at the sudden intensity of his interest, Theodore shrugs again. Looking away, he makes his tone dismissive, stabbing his last shell with far more force than it deserved.   
  
"I thought it might be fun?"   
  
Papyrus takes his now empty bowl, and he lets him with little protest. While it'd be totally okay by him if he just wanted to dump them in the sink for later - which is what he usually did - he had no doubt the other _wanted_ to do his dishes.   
  
A quick glace at his face shows he isn't as excited as he was before, but doesn't look disappointed.  
  
Sure enough the water starts up filling the left sink and Theodore reluctantly slides off his stool to help. Rinsing and drying were the worst part of dishes honestly. Only topped by the effort it took to put them away.   
  
Still, it almost seemed fun to do it _with_ someone for once. "What about dancing seems fun to you? The steps? The balance of give and take from the two partners? Moving as part of the music?"   
  
The questions pull him out of his mental whining about chores, and talking the first bowl, Theodore gives an awkward laugh. "What's with the uh interrogation? I mean I know I'm bad but -"  
  
"-Nonsense!" Papyrus cuts him off, sticking the next bowl in the sink. "There is nothing bad about being a beginner, it simply means you have just taken the first step on the road to mastery."   
  
Theodore blinks at Papyrus and belatedly remembers he was supposed to be drying, but is now _three_ dishes behind. He grabs the towel draped over the oven door and wipes at the first bowel, feeling more like he's pushing the water around then drying it.   
  
Mastery? Him? As stiff and nervous as he was, with no sense of what he was doing... It seemed unlikely. But... It was nice Papyrus thought he could try for it if he wanted.   
  
"I am just. Curious. As your Friend." The disjointed words sounded suspicious but. Honestly what could he possibly be up too? The questions were harmless.   
  
It wasn't like he was going to tell him to embrace his inner pork cutlet bowl or anything.   
  
"Well I uh. Just. Really like music? And it'd be nice to be able to do something about it you know?" _Instead of random flailing and disjointed wiggling._  
  
The first bowl he gives up on and puts on the counter drying rack, taking the freshly rinsed bowl from Papyrus.   
  
The second reason was more personal and really hadn't gone well in that first lesson, but he finds himself sharing part of it anyways. "And well. I thought. Leading might make me feel...in control?"   
  
He doesn't know how to explain it without getting into everything, and he's honestly tired of trying to explain himself to people who don't get it. So he laughs and tries to play it off and move on before Papyrus can ask him to do just that. "Which is silly because honestly I had no idea what I was doing, let alone how to help someone else do it."   
  
The second bowl is placed near the first, and Theodore puts the forks in the silverware slot and calls it good before offering the towel to Papyrus so he can dry his hands.   
  
  
  



	21. Like Nobody's Watching: Lesson Plan

"And  once a week free-dance supervised by moi, where you can put all you've learned together to music you enjoy which will-"  
  
"Papyrus, I can't let you do all that!" Theodore protests loudly cutting him off.  
  
He freezes as still as a statue and for a moment he's terrified he _broke_ him and then his skull slowly turns to him and he's suddenly worried _he_ might break _him_.  
  
"Whyever not?" Instead of angry he sounds honestly confused and maybe a little... Hurt?   
  
"This is a whole lot of trouble - and like this like a professional plan you should get paid for and I don't even know how to dance - I mean I have absolutely no sense of rythem and I'll never be interested in competing so this is a huge waste for-"   
  
"Nonsense! You already paid for a year of lessons,"   
  
"- yeah but that was _swing_ lessons-"  
  
"Which while non refundable IS able to be transferred to any of our other programs and comes with free periodic consultations at our or your discretion."   
  
Theodore didn't know what to say to that, but his expression must have spoke something of how much he still felt like he was taking advantage of Papyrus' kindness because his sockets narrow and he presses on.   
  
"Furthermore, dancing much like puzzles is of vital cultural importance to monsters - you would be dissatisfied doing something you did not enjoy, and the Blook family would be unhappy they could not help you. Soul searching is not something to be discouraged, is not as humans seem to sometimes feel burdensome -"

 

~*~ Much later ~*~

 

He said yes...  
  
But it wasn't like Theodore hadn't agreed to a lot of things that he ended up talking himself out of later.   
  
Still, missing the first class (private lesson?) _wasn't_ his fault - the car took longer to get out of the shop than expected, and Papyrus seemed to understand when he texted him. Or at least was more than excited and looking forward to 'polishing the already great lesson plan he had devised.'    
  
A few days later found him, headphones in, sitting in an empty room Papyrus had told him to go into.   
  
He'd done his 'homework' and picked out songs he enjoyed to make a few hours long playlist.   
  
He expected to be alone.  
  
What he didn't expect despite it having been explained to him was for Papyrus to actually bustle into the room a few minuets later.  
  
Less of a bustle and more of a slide.   
  
Sliding across the polished floor in his... Tights? Where had his boots gone?   
  
Despite protest he takes away Theodore's phone and plugs it into the rooms sound system hitting shuffle  
  
"Human you are nervous of being seen as a fool correct? Despite being the only audience I have years of experience and oodles of talent and can understand why you would find it intimidating to dance in front of me, a professional.  
  
Having carefully considered the matter I have decided that for your first private session I shall also participate being completely ridiculous and off beat and we shall bond and you shall no longer see me as someone who would judge you for you have also seen me at the height of foolery.   
  
You can participate with me or in spite of me but the music is on now and I can not hear you!"  
  
Theodore felt so stupid. But he turns to the side and tries to ignore him as he just sort of bounces along to the music. Off beat hes betting. And then tried a few steps but he can feel how off he is and it feels wrong and stupid and he sneaks a glance at Papyrus who  
  
... Is concentrating very hard. On looking like hes being held up by his joints it looks like.   
  
When he catches Theodore's gaze he winks and jumps up and starts doing something some how worse  
  
The sprinkler.  
  
Papyrus seems unperturbed by his surprised laugh   
  
"Do you know this dance pupil? My grade school pupils assure me it is all the rage at their dances."   
  
Despite himself he nods and starts, first nervously and then almost as if rising to the challenge to put way too much effort and force into pretending to be an sprinkler.  
  
He feels it when he clicks onto the beat with Papyrus but isn't worried about it because the second he does, Theodore finds himself doing the lawn mower while papyrus comments about how terrible inefficient it is that they have to keep restarting the machine and it _definitely_ needs a tune up.   
  
The song winds down and it switches to a favorite oldie and for whatever reason his imaginary lawn mower had broken down next to Papyrus' and he finds himself bouncing at the beginning like he does when alone and hyped for whatever reason.   
  
And he swears somehow Papyrus seems to smile wider and he finds his hands taken into the other's silky gloves and they hop together and then he just gets... Carried away.   
  
Buy the time the next song starts he's completely relaxed and his jaw hurts as he dips and sways dramatically with the song twirling and doing silly half steps.   
  
And even when he's mouthing the words or tripping over himself... Papyrus is matching him or outdoing his level of drama with flare and style.   
  
He notices during some parts Papyrus will do something perfect but its _inspiring_ him to try it or laugh and clap because Papyrus is _brilliant_.  
  
And Papyrus will dip into a bow and then jive his way into something else inappropriate for the song playing.  
  
A small buzzing timer sounds and sweaty and tired Theodore stops and moves over to his bag to pull out a water, tossing one of his three spares to papyrus.   
  
"That was perfect pupil!"  
  
"That was utterly ridiculous you mean." Theodore laughs not feeling bitter at all. "I mean wow was _I_ terrible but _you_ were fantastic Papyrus and that was so much fun thank you!"  
  
"... Theodore i was following your lead."

He frowns and shakes his head, that didn't sound right. "Half the time we were doing our own thing - and anyways I probably wouldn't have been brave enough to let loose if you hadn't started every thing."  
  
Papyrus' mouth works and he seems to consider something for a moment before disregarding it and clapping him on the shoulder  
  
"Pupil this is exactly what I want you to do in your private sessions. You may at your discretion add in anything that you learn in your other sessions."  
  



	22. Like Nobody's Watching: Different

A month later  
  
"Papyrus cant make it." Sans says, shuffling into the room.

Theodore still feels like he doesn't like him but he always seemed to keep it lowkey so Theodore tried to keep out of his way.  
  
"Oh thanks for letting me know i guess I'll catch him ne-"  
  
"Told me to keep a socket on you instead."  
  
Theodore feels his heart stop. "I... What?" That  _can't_ be right - looking like a fool in front of  _Papyrus_ was one thing, but anyone else?   
  
"But tibiahonest... Rather catch some Zs. So you do your thing and I'll be over here."  
  
Still lost he watched as Sans shuffles over and pushes play on his phone and then goes and makes himself comfortable propped in a corner.   
  
The music starts and Theodore watches Sans for a moment but..  He _honestly_ seems likes hes just going to sit there and try to sleep.   
  
The first song is half over by the time Theodore stops checking on sans.   
  
He shakes his head trying to focus and just... Does what the song says.   
  
Clap his hands. Stomps his feet. Lets the world fade and the rhythm fill him even if he was still shaky on coordinating his body to it.   
  
Next song starts and he takes a deep breath and starts mouthing along as he bounces with the beat on the tips of his socked toes.  
  
And then when it gets serious he starts acting it out, movements determined as the song even if he isn't really planning shit before he does it.   
  
The song switches and he barks out a laugh before checking on Sans who doesn't seem to have been disturbed.   
  
"I don't dance~"  
  
Feeling silly he does both parts, not remembering what they did in the movie but having a grand time both talking himself _into_ dancing and _denying_ he had any ability to do so.   
  
Another song comes on, one he doesn't know as well but its fast and his nerves are shaken and he moves into the song occasionally attempting something or another.   
  
He actually manages something he'd had trouble in xs class and despite the music still going he just spins and jumps fist pumping...   
  
"Heh looks like youre getting into the groove of things."

Theodore jolts and stares wide-eyed at the skeleton. "Shit!"  
  
Whoops - "I mean - Hoely socks i forgot you were there. Werent you - weren't you _alseep_?"   
  
Sans gives an easy shrug.   
  
Great. Either he lied or Theodore woke him up.  
  
Sans looks at the clock. "Still got some time step to it."  
  
Still shaken, Theodore nods. "I - yeah."   
  
The next song is about confidence and... He doesn't have any to speak of but... He _tries_ and time some of the steps to the song, improvising his usual garbage into it when he doesn't know what he's doing.  
  
He feels vulnerable the entire time and _hates_ it.   
  
"Do you love my brother?"   
  
He whirls flushing. "What kind of question is that?!?" Theodore blurts.   
  
Sans seems to consider it a moment, scratching the back of his neck. "You're right... do you have a crush on my bro?"  
  
"Are you serious right now why would you -" Theodore glances at the door and then back at Sans. "is that why hes not here does he think I - Oh shiiiiitakie mushrooms on a cheese and rye."

Theodore puts both hands in his hair and tugs it but Sans is unimpressed by his freaking out.  
  
"Is that a yes?"  
  
"No!" He snaps back. "Absolutely not." Which sounds like super bad in and of its self so he starts trying to back peddle and clarify. "I mean - fu- fudge cicles and Grah _no_ i mean i love him, hes a great guy, brilliant and kind and sweet and good and a fine man or whatever but - Even self depreciation aside I love him as a _friend_. _Platonically_."

He drops his hands. "That's probably still weird isn't it? I didn't mean to make things weird-"  
  
Sans finally interrupts. "He doesn't think you like like him chill dude."  
  
Theodore stares hard at Sans, bewildered. "I- then why - do you? Is it the private lessons? because it wasn't my idea and i tried to talk hm out of it but-"  
  
Sans shakes his head. "Yeah hes a cool dude but no this isn't about him at all its about you."  
  
His heart lurches and his stomach clenches. What did Sans want from him? ... "Do... You not want me here or something?"  
  
"You're insecure as fuck." Sans comments and Theodore just stares at him some more.   
  
"I mean yeah?"   
  



	23. Therapist!Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on a prompt by @unholykrow on tumblr

“So how do you know Edge?”

“Oh, hes my therapist.”

The one in orange snickers. She didn't see what was so funny about it.

But the blue-eyed one lights up. “Really?” He gasps out excitedly.

She furls her brow into a scowl. “No, I’m lying to you.”

Bright-eyes looks confused and dims and orange-hoodie pats him on the shoulder. “Shes being sarcastic bro.”

“Well that’s not very funny…” He exclaims and she rolls her eyes with a huff.

“Ms. X?” Cuts the familiar voice of her shrink across the room and gratefully she stands and turns to look at the monster on the stairs.

Its Mr. Edge Cornerstone himself, though casual use of the Doctor’s first name scratched at the back of her mind reminding her she didn't belong here - she was intruding.

Which made her throw back her shoulders and stomp over to the stairs, angry enough to pick a fight. “I apologize for the delay, and the sudden change of location.”

Maybe somebody else would have taken that as a real apology but it was manipulative - she appreciated the distraction though because being mad at your shrink didn’t make the best use of the hour.

“Its not your god blessed fault the rotten imbeciles staged a protest at the offices. F- fffforget about it.”

Dr. Cornerstone waved her into the only open door and gestured for her to take a seat on the couch in what was obviously his room, while he sat on a rolling chair.

“I see that you are still having trouble controlling your language - have you noticed any changes with the attempt?”

He assumed what she had decided to call The Position: Crossed legs, hands folded on top, and head tilted just so he could look over his glasses at her.

He wouldn’t move from there for the entirety of their hour together and while at first it annoyed her, now it helped her ignore him and relax. One less irritating person to deal with and categorize.

As always there’s a part of her that wants to plop onto the couch, or sit criss-cross - something to make her feel comfortable and allowed to be herself… but as always she sits down on the edge of the seat and places her bag between her feet, sitting up straight and focusing her gaze on…

Well this was his room so best not to look around here, the wall over his left shoulder would probably be safe enough.

“By the time I finally spit something out its almost not worth the effort of thinking about it anymore unless its a ‘serious issue’.” She does air quotes by her head, lip curling with the mockery of his words. “So I guess that's ‘improvement’ or whatever.”

This part was the worst. Being defensive and sounding like a petulant teen. Why was she even hear? It wasn’t like she had real problems or wanted to be here - what a waste of everyone's time.

“Your room looks like a cross between an eighties villain lair and a vampire’s nest. Is it to go with all the skeletons walking around in the open?” She adds spitefully trying to change the topic, now doing what she couldn’t a moment before to look around the room critically.

It was Romantic with a capital R but the dark velvet colors made the spacious room feel small and close and she wanted to hate it.

He moved then, standing and walking over to the heavy looking drapes, shifting them and cracking the window just a bit. “Did my family trouble you? The two in the living room are one of the more friendly pair, but their energy can be overwhelming.”

Her fingers fiddled with the bracelet on her wrist. She didn’t want to fidget with it. She wanted to dig her nails into her skin or tug at the hair on the back of her neck but Dr. Cornerstone said that wasn’t allowed and yadda yadda yadda.

She hated this part she hated this place she just wanted things to be normal. To just have a normal conversation with him or anyone without making it this big ducking deal - not a cuss word - but it was like trying to shove a triangle through a circle. Annoying frustrating and too many points for the pointless objective.

“They’re fine.”

She said tersely.

“I did not ask how they were, I asked how you felt about them.”

That calm but firm tone did its trick. “I fucked up okay!” She snaps at him, actually looking at the re-seated skeleton in challenge, eyes hard and daring him to mention the curse word. “They were absolutely fucking wonderful and I was just a complete bitch at them trying to get them to shut up and leave me alone but they're too damn nice to take a hint!”

She doesn’t remember standing but sitting feels like too much as she tries to catch her harsh breathing. She opens her mouth to say more - nothing she hadn’t about other people and herself before - When her shrink shakes her head.

“Just because someone is friendly does not make them polite, nor does it make their conversation any more welcome. Blue has a tendency to be overly familiar, and his brother doesn’t know when his observations are inappropriate however accurate they may be. You’re allowed to set boundaries, and expect they be respected regardless of social conventions Ms. X.”

She does sit then, feeling the tension drain out of her and the backs of her eyes burned. Pressing the palms of her hands against her eyelids to stop the tears from coming she whines pathetically. “This is stupid. Nobody can know what my boundaries are if I don’t tell them and I’m not willing to do that because I expect people to be mind readers and just know!”

“You have come a long way - do not disregard your progress just because there is still more to be done. Had the office been damaged earlier this year you would not have ventured here to my home for your appointment, or any one after.”

Her teeth ground at the reminder but she didn't want to look up. “So? It shouldn’t be progress to just show up when and where you say you will - and I stayed in the car for an hour before knocking its -”

“- Absolutely fine. I asked you to step out if your comfort zone, and you not only did so but you managed to converse with my relatives for several minutes despite never having met before. It is hard for you, and many in your position but you keep trying. And when you got overwhelmed you sent a text for help so you could disengage.”

Which thank fuck for that because apparently neither of them were going to go get Dr. Cornerstone until their curiosity had been satisfied.

Finally, after a few deep breaths, she drops her arms into her lap and looks up vaguely in his direction. “I’m just tired of everything being so hard.”

He looks not sympathetic, which would be unbearable, but certain. Sounded sure too. “It does get easier and better, I promise you. Not all at once, no, but you will wake up one day and realize it is not as bad as it used to be sometimes.”


	24. Therapist!Edge: Family is an Emergancy

She didn’t really _see_ the person at the door so much as a startled blur as she pushed past him, but her brain noted that he didn’t try to stop her despite that he wasn’t one of the two she met last time.

It didn’t matter - _nothing_ like that mattered right now.

Not the invasion of Dr. Cornerstone’s personal living space, not the ridiculous size of the house, not the amount of strangers who knew what she was here for; the only thing that mattered right now was getting to her appointment so that she didn’t drown inside everything trying to pull her under.

“Ms. X?” He looked…startled wasn’t the word, but guarded maybe? As she jogged up the final stairs to the second floor landing. She hardly hesitated just darting around him into his room in a way she would have sworn to be too rude and impossible to do on her last visit.

Once there she began pacing, back and forth - forth and back - as she waited for her shrink to open the drapes and windows, before _finally_ assuming The Position.

He opens his mouth to question her, but it was already pouring out.

“My aunt is coming to visit. I can’t do this again -” Dr. Cornerstone goes to correct her, she sees it in her peripheral vision, but she already is cutting herself off to repeat his words as she continues walking the floor. “- I don’t _want_ to deal with this again - and just because I can doesn’t mean I should have to!”

With this exclamation she stops and gestures hard at her doctor, accusatory, like this whole mess is his fault.

He waits a beat this time, probably making sure she was finished for the moment before speaking. “I agree completely, well said.”

There’s a rush of relief, and the knot in her chest loosens just a bit… Before the guilt comes rushing in to fill the space cleaned out by the validation.

“Graaaaah. Of course _you’d_ say that, I pay you to be on my side.” She drops the challenging stance she had taken with the groan, and she presses the heel of her left had against the bridge of her nose. The right hand runs up the back of her short hair, mussing it before gripping tightly and tugging tugging just a bit.

“No, you pay me to help you. If you were in the wrong I would correct you, as I have done in the past. Speaking of which, your hair, Ms. X.” His voice is so calm, so reasonable…

Its impossible.

Reassuring.

She hates it.

Dropping both hands she crosses her arms and bares her teeth at him. Seeing as his are on display 24/7 she’s disappointed but not surprised he doesn’t look impressed.

She looks away first, feeling more secure despite the whirlwind of emotions inside her. Bitter but more calmly she continues. “Yeah well, how the hell am I supposed to get out of hanging out with her then? It’s not like my parents will just take no for an answer- and my aunt _definitely_ wont just let it go without making me feel like shit for it.”

He stays quiet, thinking about it presumably and she lets him, looking around the room for a distraction.

There’s a cat toy just there, under the bed. It stood out in glaring contrast to the opulent aristocratic vibe of the room itself, the small pink-eared mouse toy.

That meant, somewhere in this house, there was a cat. It was her goal to someday pet it. Not an ambitious goal, but a challenging one none the less.

Her shrink was talking, _~~shit~~_.

She jerks her head into his general vicinity and tunes in to what sounds like utter nonsense for a few seconds until her brain remembers how to turn words into the meaningful information to be processed that they were supposed to be.

This was honestly stressing her out and setting her back so bad.

“work this weekend?”

It takes a few seconds of blinking to get the implications of what little she had gathered, but this wasn’t her first time having to play catch up. Used to be her brain always had to solve a murder mystery before things made sense - or her mouth just said fuck it and dropped whatever it wanted out into the conversation like so much diarrhea.

That was before Dr. Cornerstone.

Maybe he could help her stop everything going back to absolute shit.

“Is it bad that I don’t actually want to lie for once? I just… can’t see any way of being honest that doesn’t make everything worse.” Her arms tighten their hold on her body, hating the hesitant scared little tone she had. Her fingers dig into her sides but either he doesn’t see that or hes given up on correcting her for the moment.

“Given your history with your family in general, and your aunt in particular I can understand why you would feel this way… Perhaps simply state you have necessary undisclosed errands to run and give a time when you will return. You do not owe anyone an explanation but it is enough to both put their minds at ease, and give you the space you will need from this situation.”

So rational and mature that it’ll never work because her family -

She takes a deep breath, lets it out, and then moves to sit on the couch. “Like you said, I’ve got to set boundaries. This is… relatively minor. I- I _guess_ if it doesn’t go well, it also can’t snowball into something _completely_ horrid.”

He nods. “Exactly. Now you have half an hour of our time left, how do you wish to spend it?”

Another deep breath - its going to be okay - let it out slowly. The problem is dealt with as much as it can be today, and she knew what to do when the time came.

She had a plan.

“Let’s talk about how those renovations are going since the hate group attacked. I think I just ran over one of your relatives on the way up.”


End file.
